And the patriotism fever is back

It was a fine morning and i was running on time.I reach my office and realise that the day is 14th august.How i realise that ? I see them distributing our national flag and pin at the reception asking us to wear it on.Being the rebel i am, i don't wear it nor do i take it.
The above act of mine engenders a discussion between me and my colleague Tarun . In the discussion i raise issues pertaining to how people treat our independence day as another holiday and wear the tricolor just for the fun of it.Also the focus shifts to the fate of these flags my fellow colleagues had arrayed(most of them would find their way to the garbage dump).The conclusion given by me then being that i would rather not portray myself as a patriot rather than insult the symbol of my country's "dignity" and "integrity" .
The discussion was over and a sense of victory had settled with a lingering thought which raised another discussion as our day ended.The "4th of July" being the culprit behind it.The ambience in India on the 15th of august and the US on 4th of July were juxtaposed and a comparison made.The streets are filled with people bursting fire crackers, gathering in large crowds and making a rather ostentatious display of their nation and its pride in the US while back home we have NOTHING!!!!!
Nothing was being done by the masses and when i say masses i don't mean the administrative wing of corporate, govt. offices and educational institutions which quite dutifully perform the ceremony of the flag hoisting etc. etc.In fact it was a day when all the theaters ran house full all roads leading to hang out spots were jammed and people were having a nice holiday...!Now i don't intend to say that there should be a gloomy or very serious atmosphere around on the 15th Aug, in fact there should be joy and celebrations around,but some part of that joy in the masses heart should represent a feeling of pride in their country and its achievements which was missing,sadly.
I remember seeing an old woman with flesh on her body as much as a wrapper on a chocolate near a traffic signal,trying to make her buck for the day by selling our national flags on our independence day..It was a scene that could move any stone hearted guy. The man sitting in the Innova however did not spare her a 5 rs for the flag and went away..It was a day of national pride and some helpless person was trying to make a living by selling the national flag to people on a day where she expected people to buy them in large numbers cause this day came only once a year and by far was supposed to be the most important day of the year.
Anyway the crux of the above example and preceding paragraphs is to set forth a picture of the sham Indians call as patriotism..To abuse the cricket team,to help the Gujarat earthquake victims,to help the tsunami victims etc..is not an example of patriotism..maybe adrenalin rush and a bit of humanity.I have always viewed the achievements of my country to be basically achievements of a single individual who at every step in their life were only discouraged by the people and institutions around them.People here are so lost in doing their work that the impact of their actions on their country is never a thought that crosses their mind.
We show pride in our heritage,a heritage which if you keenly observe always lacked patriotism but had a rich culture.We have always had a majority of leaders who were power hungry people waiting for their turn.More than that we have always been people who always think we are great but never live up to it.We are a diverse nation, an amalgamation so volatile that it could erupt at the slightest prick. We are Indians...but do we understand what it means to be an Indian...? I wonder...

Ps: while i write about patriotism above ..i do so cause i fail to understand what it means ..maybe cause i have never felt it that strongly or never felt it at all..but i have always viewed my country with a sense of respect dignity and most importantly pride ...pride which I will never cast away..

Corruption and "ME" the future "Indian"

"Be careful ". "Ok mom, I will be" and i raced off on my bike to meet a couple of friends on necklace road in Hyderabad. In my hurry, or rather carelessness I had forgotten to put on my helmet and as fate would have it, I was apprehended by the traffic police guys and pulled over to the side of the road. The scene described in these few lines is not uncommon, infact i feel most of the riders reading this article would have been in the above situation, and i am very confident that most of them would have done what I did. Guesses??? Yes! you are right. "Kya sahib, chod do na sahib chaalan bahut zyaada hai sahib"."To? Galti to aapka hai na, aap helmet nahin daale, ab aap hi bolo hum kya karein?".After that i don a very innocent look on my face and hint towards a possibility of an "outside settlement"."Theek hai side mein aao aap", I take out a fifty and he says-"ye to kam hai,aapke paas Dl bhi nahin hai challan total 500 hota aapka..",and i make it 100 and he pockets it and lets me go free, and i dont even realise that i have just become a part of this cancer called "corruption at a very grass root level. "I", "Me", "The future Indian".
I had the opportunity of being involved in clubs at my university and many other groups of teenagers and elders alike in the past few years and one of the hottest topic of discusssion was always corruption, be it in politics or law enforcement or public services.I distinctly remember how all of my compatriots,including yours truly would lash out at the corrupt government, the corrupt officials and the list could go on,the point being that we would point out and depricate those we held guilty of it.These issues generally also led to a discussion of our development ,growth,blah blah blah..with each of them resulting in a conclusion that we were the future of this country and we are not only aware of the cancer but also have the hatred and strength in us to stay away and free from it.I guess even i had a very high self esteem and had many a times made derogatory comments against the "corrupt".
Now hypocrisy has always been one of the most sordid attributes of a man according to me and yet today when i look back I see how I myself was a follower of it,and here I use "I" to refer to myself only,but if there is a reader whose gone through similar discussions and a similar situatuion then it applies to them too. The point is that while i was in that situation I paid no heed to my anti corruption policies and was more concerned with saving some cash and infact honestly I never realised what i was doing.In fact, the sad part is how i would boast about having done it to my friends and yet again call the same guy i bribed a "Chor",while condoning the fact that I myself had become a bigger one, as i was the source of the incentive to that chor.
The whole issue burns down to the point where everyone wants to save his own skin and wants to be out of trouble the cheaper way,and well the oficials too are like us,they want easy money and hell they know I am not a maniac,I wont kill someone tomorrow,so no harm in them letting me go.While I have majorly concentrated on law enforcement guys here,people will always raise questions regarding other fields like government offices etc..etc..Now I can discuss them too all day long but it would be of no use! would it??
The realisation I had today was that I need to worry more about me being honest and following the law than worried about who is not and what names he should be called by.We are a young country they say, and i most certainly believe we are a very capable one at that.So guys if there is anyone out there like me,who has been a hypocrite,please realise what we are doing here and how "We the people" we the "Bundle of sticks" are making hollow our own future.I have realised by paying a challan that I will never again not wear a helmet,or forget mi DL at home.but more importantly I have learnt that if I am not corrupt on ten occasions,I stop 10 other people from being corrupt.We will be every where,guys like me,who are not very strong willed ,I request you all to just try...and hopefully succeed...
PS: the following lines are something i came up with while I was on a holiday this month..
"The only thing that brings down a rising tide in an ocean is a receding wave"

after a long time..a brand new composition...

I write today a story of two songs..
one ringing life in , other death's gongs
the former, has many forms and is alive
it has happiness, surprise, routine and strife.
it flows in our moments memories and veins..
it gives us a kaleidoscope of pains and gains.
it engenders avarice and redeems our desires..
it has many vendors and a lot many buyers..
the song flows eternally,leaving us behind,
and a sting of our memories in beloveds minds..
It takes us for a joy ride and then leaves us with time,
with the song of death, known as the devil's rhyme..
the song of death ,feared by all,awaits its turn,
till we go on our holiday with life and return....
it waits silently till our tryst with life end's,
it lurks around the corner, everytime life bends..
we fear it in all our moments, be they of humiliation or pride,
while it stays eager as if waiting on the aisle for its bride..
I think of the song and what it would be like,
why it is feared by men and animals alike?
I think of what life gives us,and how it leaves us,
I think of the betrayal, and how it beguiles us
I question it's motives and it's charachter,
watching it play with us gives way to loads of laughter
I come back again to the song no one has ever heard and survived,
the song of death,the one to take us after life, still undescribed..
I then see the solace in those last moments of peoples lives,
when they are aware of life's betrayal in other peoples eyes.
I wonder whether the solace is from the song of death or the song of life?
I wonder is it worth living or worth getting lost in paradise ?
I sit and write of two songs, one of which i will never describe...
one shall ditch me and the other shall take me for a surprise ride.

The traditional woman and the "today's" woman

SEX EQUALITY..now please don't mistake me for a male chauvinist. What i have presented below are merely a set of views which can be termed as gratuitous but still i would like to name them the result of my deliberations.
I take my culture ,traditions and religion into picture and try hard but yet fail to condone the way in which women are praised and given a status far greater than that of man. She has been bestowed with appellations that would leave a flatterer gasping for breath, I mean if there was a word to describe " exaggeration beyond limits" then it would suffice, but i guess the phenomenon is ineffable. The apotheosis of woman in every role she plays simply leaves me wondering about the inscrutability of these appellations as i see no justification behind them when "today's woman" is juxtaposed with them(no offence meant).
I am sure ,for many of the readers, the above article would have been infuriating and a chauvinist image of me, would have been instilled in their minds by now, but please be patient and let me clarify my outrageous comments.
I guess i have a worm in my gut which keeps making me ponder over and question every adage, if I may call it that.I look back at what "woman" has gone through in our society over the last milleniums and what many of them are going through even today and i look at the "new avtaar" or "today's woman", who is independent,ambitious and maybe has compramised on certain values her predecessors did not even think of neglecting.
The manner in which women have been treated in our society can be described by only one kind of expression,disgust !For centuries now,she has been harrassed, tortured, disrespected, made irrelevant in discussing family issues,considered as bad fate when she is born and yet inspite of all that, all she has given in return is LIFE and LOVE in the very roles i mentioned above thus accquiring the status of a GODDESS, which by the way according to me is a mere pat on the back considering the magnitude of agony they go thru(after all you just call them that, you dont treat them like one..do you? hypocricy at its height).
For the reader who is going through my article solemnly, the above paragraph will seem like a U-turn.Well it isnt and i will tell you why.While all the above stated things are true,it is also true that for these milleniums it has been a woman who has illtreated a woman the most,or plotted or conspired against her(Indian society's saas-bahu pair ! for the brazillian pals..well mother in law and daughter in law ).While often man's attrocities are highlighted and trumpets blown, these go unnoticed.What's funny is that the oppressed becomes the oppressor!Does she then deserve the godhood? I wonder!
That scenario however is now changing in the modern India, thanks to the "today's woman".And who is this today's woman?She is the one who says she is equal with man..ans asks for reservation!,She is the one who is as competitive,probably more and as capable as successful as man in every feild of life we can imagine to have.She is also the one who is not as compassionate, as tolerant, as forgiving as her ancestors..she is not and the readers(Indians) i believe will agree with that..again its not an absolute that i state but yes, it is true for a majority of them found in our metropolitan cities and other developed cities..The point again being that,she no longer has the basic attributes that led to her apotheosis in the first place..!
Often I have heard and theres also a comment that was posted before the completion of this article by a very dear friend,about trying the experience of delivering a baby.Well,i personally feel, and no offence meant, that is a very lame excuse to give.I mean women are blessed with this gift of not just sowing but also nurturing and producing life and protecting it at the expense of their body ,till it is fit to face the world, and you use such a divine thing and call it a pain and ask others to try it as if it were a burden on you..?If you do..then i have no words..cause i always considered that to be the most enchanting thing about life..how women could raise it in their womb.
The articles throws light on a few aspects but has not been clear about what its trying to convey..I know,but thats because its not supposed to convey anything till now,Its just meant to make you ponder over certain things you may not have thpought of.while the next tells you the message behind the article..
Many times when i see my mom in the kitchen working hard to make a good dinner after a full day of work every day of the week,while we sit and enjoy,I often wonder what she's thinking..and i know its about some issue or some concern she has for the house or its members but she certainly is not complaining.She is God for m,and every such woman is a God.I despise the very sight of a man who would disrespect a woman and totally support the fact that women can outdo men in every feild if they want to..but i would like "today's woman " to remember ..while they are on their quest to glory and equality and other stuff, they should not leave behind those few qualities a man would have to die over hundred times for to acheive, in the dump.For if the baby is thrown out of the tub along with the water then,well you are no different and as common as me..the way alana put it ..macho man..

his bride

a day dawned and went by,

giving way to a lonely night

the stars were up , a crystal clear sky,

with a full moon looking milky white

dew on the grass filled two eyes

depleted with hope, towards the sky

the drops did fall as the ground bore sweat,

with the burden of his grief, the fate he had met

the wind grew moist from the tears in his eyes..

tears in memory of his love, heart and life.

agony caused by the loss of his wife..

She would make his problems disappear in a snap,

find a way out for him, through every cul-de-sac.

She would rejuvenate him,often make him a child,

pamper him, with her love make him go wild..

She gave him a thousand reasons to smile,

with her no agony lasted for more than a while..

Now she was gone,flashes of the past crowded his mind,

how she had been selfless and always very kind..

how he had often not noticed her cry,

instead of having wiped them,he let them dry..

Love her, he did, but also his own pride,

he had forgotten to LOVE back his own bride..

The pain of loss, had long left him,

the affliction of repentance now plagued him..

He had lost his chance, and also his pride,

for he had not truly treated her like his bride..

Spirituality....???? can things get better ?????

Spirituality is undoubtedly the shibboleth of all religions.They are like trees,when i say trees, i mean trees of the same kind,which have the same attributes but grow out to be very different from each other in terms of the fruits they bear or look they don.However,I am not here to discuss universal brotherhood or concept of one religion.What interests me more is one of the philosophies of the hindu religion, the KARMIC philosophy,which goes hand in hand with the concept of spirituality.I may not have understood these two terms well enough as they are indeed very profound as well as ambiguous for the layman a.k.a me.
The whole idea behind the karmic philosophy is misinterpreted by many to be analogous to "as you sow,so shall you reap".Well,it is not so!. The whole concept of karma lies behind the principle of doing every work as a duty without having any concern for its fruit or result.That simply implies that you have to perform all tasks in your life as a duty not as a means or source of some happiness or pleasure for us.Ironic!! this theory seems to contradict all the age old maxims which ask us to work hard for acheiving success.The paradox is crystal clear isnt it? If I were to follow karmic philosophy then i have to work, perform every task as a duty without any expectations, I would acheive what they call salvation.Now the question that arises in my mind is that if i were to work without having any expectations,to attain salvation wouldnt i be basically performing every task as a duty without caring for their fruit to attain the ultimate fruit of salvation,or put more bluntly,desire of salvation???
The whole idea behind saying that one should be hardworking to acheive success,he should be sincere etc..is to motivate us to work towards acheiving a goal,which will be the fruit of our labour.But if i call that attatchment to the materialistic world or succcinctly put, a desire,what do i call attatchment towards the goal acheiving salvation..?Anyways the ambivalence started driving me crazy and so i digressed conveniently to an easier task of questioning the very concepts of salvation and spirituality..
I often come across people talkin off judgement day,karma and how our soul would be punished on the day of doom or how we would face difficulties based on our actions in the next birth (as you go deeper into the karmic philosophy,you learn that the results of your actions are carried on by your subconscious mind or soul in the next birth and you pay for them in that life).i dont mean to question the rationale or the ability of the people and saints who came up with these concepts,but, while i can slightly comprehend the phenomenon called God,I fail to understand my soul.I mean,why should care for my soul's suffering?I have never felt it.I have felt myself suffer,thats all that i have felt and that is what I consider the truth.Whats the point in doing things for a phenomenon we cannot even feel,let alone see or associate with!
Suffering is bound to be there,so is happiness that is life ,law of nature,nature's not always just ! for example animals and trees pay the price for man's deeds..funny,they pay a price greater than man!!
I would rather work to be happy,judge a deed as good or bad on a principle of what makes me happy,me,this physical materialistic body which i feel and not for some phenomenon my mind makes or someone elses.
while i dont intend to give this article a patronising tone,maybe it has that.I apologise in advance for that..and for the few who rad this post i would like aan elaborate opinion for i am expecting a battery of ,well,contradictions..
i

RETROSPECTION

My heart's going heavy,
life's becoming a burden....
I know that,which haunts me,
why my spirits are broken...
I shiver in shame,
under the cold feeling of repentance..
i bear the fruits of contrite,
makin a mole of a death sentence....
I stand yet accused,
arraigned and facing interogation...
Judged by a harsh jury,
composed of an elve's delegation...
A guilt ,a truth, an apparition,
not seen i n my eyes,lies in my hearts oblivion...
I had run long from it,
hoping to leave it behind....
No mattter how hard i tried ,
it always dwelled in my mind...
Oh! what's come of this life,
nothin but a bundle of lies..
Lies spoken to the world,
lies to bilk those eyes...
The lies that shall haunt me,
burn my soul till it's demise..
blessed with the bane of cowardice,
i look at myself and the mirror too..
Life seems to be missing,
my conscience and its spirit too..

love

During those moments when life's going down.
our eyes are raised and we look around..
to spend a day with the fairy of our passions and dreams..
a day when we don see n think but live those dreams
and that is why we look for love in shadows of life
when all there is, is a tear in our eye..
but the secret of love is something else,elsewhere it lies
it doesnt matter what and how much you get,less or more have no regrets..
for in the end loves only a debt
a debt we got to pay and pay..
with a never ending interest coming our way..
For in it there is no end to how much you can give
and that is why love they say is needed to survive
else our life would just go on..
like a routine an everyday norm
awaken this love,this feeling so true..
spread it in your heart and someone elses too...
time shall show and make you understand ..
loves not simple,not a one night stand
a feeling of giving ,giving all you can
for if you ever say no compromise..
in love my friend you shall pay a dear price.
of having lost your love for upholding your pride..
you shall be lost again with nowhhere to go..
and will go down as a life deplete with hope..

MY LOVE FOR YOU

I shall be there for you, for ever and ever to come..
Lead you out of darkness towards the sun..
To a life of bliss, free from care..
We shall spread it all around with a lot to spare..
Ah..the beauty and love..it shall be a time divine..
A time of happiness, when thou art mine..
My heart's been troubled and has been scared..
But now i know for you only,it had always prayed..
I know now, even if our senses quiver and souls shiver..
We shall hold our hands and keep goin together..
O my love..what the wall of thorns to cross ?
If the mere touch of thy lay across..
Aboard the ship of hardships, we shall sail through fire,
Overcome all,place obstacles of our path on their pyre..
O my love there's a promise i make..
My love for you shall remain..come what may...

a poem for my slamm book

"the road extends till the horizon,
every detour's a cul-de-sac, every step a new burden
seasons shall change and so shall my liasons
they shall each build in my heart their own bastions
...
a very few shall be sordid, many winsome
each shall make me a better person,prove wholesome
i shall be moulded by them all through my life
made humble in joy and unfathomable in strife
.....
but the journey shall have an end, a climax
i shall be fatigued,wasted and shell relax
i shall be in retrospect and at my past i shall take a look
with the mind as a wizard the crystal ball shall be my "slam note book"
..."

love , and why i shall never be out of it

Love, it is said is a very divine feeling and in the very short span of life that i have lived i have tried to explore this divinity and comprehend it's attributes. The process took a lot out of me, emotionally, and left me at a point where i was compelled to believe that, there existed no other entity in this world that could be juxtaposed with love and declared analogous to it. I attempt here to describe what i felt over a span of nine years, from when i was 13 years old till today when i am almost 22.
I started on my journey with no such objectives in mind, rather, these objectives were the culmination of the various deliberations I had, a few days back, in retrospect of my whole journey. I had stepped out on its path believing that it would be give me immense happiness, contentment, pleasure and nonetheless, fulfill all my moral and amorous desires without any conditions, without any changes needed, without any price being paid. The sham that I had nurtured in my heart regarding love was soon to be shattered. As time passed, I started feeling an addiction I had not known, for my love, that was soon to be followed by a sense of possession augmented with “self” as the only pivot on which all decisions were made. Blinding was the addiction and it caused an agony, great enough to hurt and shake the very foundations of my love. Then came a day when there was an uprising, a burst of emotion, from my love which showed me how I had digressed on to the path of vanity and greed.
The realization had struck and the outburst had fulfilled its cause, but the bond had not yet broken, for ego had been tamed. The catharasis of the relationship took me on a path where I had learned to compromise and adjust, for the sake of “having” my love. Here I use the word having, not desiring or possessing. The actuator now was not some form of an avarice rather the efforts needed to keep the relationship going, so that I could have my love. Time was flying smoothly and the bond was going stronger, with every day that passed, every fight we had and every compromise we made for each other. Two souls and two bodies were now truly becoming one thought and one “mind”. There was fragrance in the air as flowers blossomed in our lives.
Life, it is said, has its own incomprehensible ways with us. Tragedy struck and we were thrown asunder. My love was thrown in the fires of hell while I was kept safe, far away from the agony it suffered. It had not spared me, as I was rendered helpless and made to watch my love suffer. I had paid the lesser “price”!!! A maxi m says that we often appreciate the value of an entity only after we have lost it, in my case I believe that did not happen. I had always known its value. I had treasured it and fathered it like a child of mine, and yet I had been deprived of it, or as I had thought, then…
It was then that I had sought an answer to what love was and why I felt pain. Why I felt abject at the very thought of someone else’s afflictions. The most important question that lingered on my mind however was,”Why do I still want to be there for a person, for a relationship, from which I shall receive nothing from now on?”. “Why suddenly do I want to be altruistic towards that one person I loved?”. Put simply I questioned, why I decided to still be there, even when I would not receive any but would only give and in return suffer a pain that would slowly and surely take its toll on me. Why did I want to feel that pain, why, why, why???
The answer did come to me and with it came enlightenment. I realized why they say “we fall in love”, and why it is divine. The answer was simple… It was a relationship I had “made” which derived contentment from her happiness. I realized that, my love was not something that I wanted, desired or cherished, rather it was something I wanted to part with, and not with everyone but only with that special person I called my “LOVE” . I stand today not desolate or dejected at my loss but contented, with the resolve of being there for her, even though she would not be able to do the same, to ensure that she smiled, even though I would never be able to see it, to make her feel heaven, even though it would plunge me in hell. I now know, why my parents love me and take care of me, why my mother always fulfills my needs, even if they ask a lot out of her, why my father looks after me, even though half of the times I disagree with him. They love me more because I was the result of the bond they made on their own, their “love”…..and I would do all that for her because it was a bond that I made with her…..

Life and the ones we leave behind....

Four years have come to and end...rather an end of an era..my engg. life !!!!
people are busy organising get to gethersa ,farewells and other stuff..Many getting emotional about the whole thing and have tears in their eyes..All this happening and i maintain a frigid face. No room for any expression of sorrow or grief. I stand amongst them, as though i am unfathomable by such attachments and i start to wonder .....I wonder as to why that friend of mine was crying,why that guy i know as a person who could be called nothing less than a prankster was feeling abject even talking about it....I thought for a long time and having failed to find an answer, i deemed myself a "rock" and was basking in its glory or whatever i thought of it.I argued and defended my stand telling those around me that its life and these things keep happening and we should learn to take it...I had managed to convince myself somehow (or maybe it was inherently innate),of the fact that i would not feel any sorrow..But life they say has its own way of teaching us..and it did..there came a day when a friend of mine left and i knew that he would be gone now for a long time. As i saw him gear up for his journey i was feeling a kind of an upsurge witthin myself, it felt strange and made me sink for a while..i was trying to decipher those moments ,but invain ..Then it happened..we said good bye ..Those two words were the last straw to break my back.They opened the gates of an emotion i had thought myself to be free from...and i felt the pain.it lasted honestly for two or three minutes but it was enough for me to realise the fact that..no matter how strong how proud or how egoistic we get somewhere deep inside we all crave for the same things...the antle we all don might be diffrerent but the core still is the same...And then i looked back at what i had thought about myself earlier and gave myself a deriding and depricating smile ..as though telling myself...that i was scared..scared more than the others and i did not even have the courage to accept my fear....and that what i saw as a weakness was nothing but strength and what i saw in myself nothin but a classic example of a bravado in a desperate attempt to uphold a false pride....

dedicated to my friends...

deewanoon ke dil ka haal humse na poocho...
tumhara dekh ke darr jate hain..
shama kyon jala jala ke marti hai parvane ko....
tumhara kissa dekh ke jaan jaate hain..

Lady moonlight

lady moonlight,guide me through the darkness, all my life
through the night,towards the golden morning,away from strife
lady moonlight,show me the way to the goal of my life
visions of which haunt my mind and fill my eyes
lady moonlight,teach me, forever there wont be sunlight
and on my path of life many thorns will lie
some peircing my heart and stealing my smile
casing me agony,not letting me rest,even for a while
and then give me the strength to fight..
lady moonlight
Then one day the night shall be gone
and the new day with a golden morning would have dawned
teach me,lady moonlight,the sun shall be soon gone
and all my troubles back,the darkness shall be reborn
and i shall need you then and all along..
so when my heart's heavy and eyes are a sinking ship
come and bless me,give me strength to face life's whip
for the millions of stars in the sky,sit and smile shining bright..
i know its your light which shall kill the darkness in the night..
lady moonlight...

ek khwahish

gardish mein chaye chaand taare aaj hulchul kar rahe hain....
tujhko mere dil mein saansoon ki jagah dhadakte dekh aaj vo bhi jal rahe hain...
meeri aankhoon ke noor mein tera hi tasavvur jhalak raha hai...
teri ulfat meri rooh mein jeevan ban ke panap rahi hai..
tujhko paakar humne raatoon mein bhi noor hi paya sanam..
teri dua se,aaj humne jeevan amrit paaya sanam...
dil ke armaanoon ko hoonthon par laakar ab kya karein,
jab tune dil ke har armaan ko apna banaya sanam..
Ab us shabnami raat ka intezaar hai..
jis pal mein basa hoga tere mere pyaar ka sansaar sanam..
dooriyaan jo hain wo khwaboon mein ab tak mit ti rahin...
ab jaldi aakar khwaboon ko bhi le jao sanam...

TEASER

aapka deedar hua subah rangeen sama deewaana sa lagta hai...
khush na hoiye,
ek nazar idhar bhi daliye,
aankhoon pe hamare barah number ka chashma lagta hai...

DIL...!!!!

Bada hi anokha hota hai dil,
har pal jo dhadakta hai dil.
Jaane kitni khwahisheen rakhta hai dil,
kitni aahein bharta hai dil.
Na jaane kyon bhara bhara sa rehta hai dil,
jaane kis liye tadapta hai dil..
Jane kya hota hai dil,
kyon bebas karta hai dil.
Jane kyon hota hai aisa dil,
kyon vash mein karke rakhta hai dil.
Jane kyon saansoon ko kayam rakhta hai dil,
kyon rishtoon mein ulajhta hai dil.
Phir kyon itna kamzor hota hai dil,
har pal banta bigadta rehta hai dil.
Jaane kyon aaj mujhse yeh puchva raha hai dil,
jaane kyon likhva raha hai dil.
Jaane kyon dil se aazaad hona chahta hoon main,
ya khud se aazad hona chahta hai dil.
jaane kya dhoondhta hoon main,
ya jaane kya dhoondhta hai yeh dil.
Jaane kaisi kash-ma-kash mein uljha hai dil,
jaane kaisi uljhan mein laya hai dil.
Jaane kya fitrat rakhta hai dil,
phool ya keval uski mahek ko chahta hai dil.
Bagh mein to har phool ki mahek ek samaan hai failti,
phir kaise ek phool ki mahek ko pehchaanta hai dil.
Na jaane kis daaman ko thamna chahta hai dil,
jaane kis saki ko saathi banana chahta hai dil.
Dost to kai hote hain,
phir kaise pyaar ko pehchaanta hai dil,
jaane pyaar ki kis paribhasha ko maanta hai dil.
Ajab mod pe aaj laaya hai dil,
ek jeevan aur ek saaya laaya hai dil.
Dono ko apnana chahta hai dil,
par na jane kise paraya banayega yeh dil.
Na jaane kis anjaan ko apnayega yeh dil,
na jaane kis mod pe laake chod jayega yeh dil.....

NA JAANE KYOON...????

Na jaane kyoon,
nahin mahek rahi hai kali bahaar ki..
Na jaane kyoon,
nahin beh rahi paavan pavan pyaar ki.
Ki gul kabhi khila to tha,
aur chaie thi rut basanth bahaar ki.
Ki jhoomti hava chali to thi,
aur layi thi zameen pe mahek mere pyaar ki.
Na jaane kyon,
khali reh gaya paimana wo sharab ka.
Na jaane kyoon,
Nakabposh ho gayi wo chamak shabab ki.
Ki pyaas to lagi hi thi,
aur bhara hua maiaana,aankhoon mein saja bhi tha.
Ki saaki bhi laajawaab tha,
aur haath mein uske pyaala vo jaam ka.
Na jaane kyon,
chaie si hai kuch nami ab aankhoon mein.
Na jaane kyon,
kho rahi thi aankhoon se roshni shamaoon ki.
Ki dhoop vo kabhi dhali na thi,
aur aag vo bhi kabhi bujhi na thi.
Ki neend to kabhi aaye na thi,
aur aankh bhi kabhi lagi na thi,magar,
Na jaane kyoon,
Lagti hai adhoori si ye zindagi.
Na jaane kyoon,
mai likh raha hoon yeh kadi.
Ki kabhi vo beshumaar geet,bhi maine hi gaaya to tha
aur jeevan ke gul ko,
kabhi seench ke maine khilaya to tha.
Ki khil rahi,
hai ab hasi chehre pe har ghadi,
Par na jaane kyoon,
ro raha hai dil mera,chupa hua.
Na jaane kyoon,
toot gaya hai vo atoot vishvaas mera..
Ki na jaane kya bhul hui raah mein pyaar ke,
guzar rahe hain din ab bin mere yaar ke.
Na jaane kyoon,
na ho sake hum ek yahaan sansaar mein..
Ki chaahat bhi to thi,
aur marasim jude bhi the yaar se..

"who now has a legend's fame"

The night was calm with a starlit sky
The search for the moon, lurked hither thither in his eyes
He searched for a clear view in a dwindling milky way
Blurred by the tears which filled his eyes and rolled away
Dejected he sat,still staring at the sky
as the silence grew thicker and clouds came by
The moon lost in oblivion,even the starlight was gone
The night grew darker around him,leaving him woe-begone
He sat on the ground moist with tears,
They had frozen in his eyes with the cold of his fear
His tears had stopped but eyes still raised
Questioning the heavens with a helpless rage
He was looking for his answers, wishing for a boon
the best of all his treasures,a glimpse of his moon
The clouds were flying by as night held its pace
as he closed his eyes,thoughts filled with her face
His breath was growing loud,heart beat clear
slowing their pace down hinting at the end which was near
He went through all that night,sorrow happiness and fear
He rose and walked,pulling his legs which had gone stiff
He walked towatds the sky,till theend of the highest cliff
There wasnt a soul nearby,nor a puff of air for a leaf to turn
The night resembled his soul,left with nothing to burn
He wasnt drunk,but had no control over his mind
As he rose again to put up a final tiff,leaving all behind
Something divine the, people say happened that night,
As mist settled down,skies were filled by a light.
He saw her claim some,some say he heard her name
and thats the last they knew of him,who now has a legends fame

Ek dua hai....

Ajab yeh dil ki ranjishein hain...
na jaane kahaan strotra inka !
nahin bharta ji ab maikadoon se,
paimana khali pada hai dil ka.
Guzarte hue pal lagte hain bhari,
Jeevan ke safar ka anth nahin dikhta.
Kadmoon ke neeche rahein dagmaga rahi,
Apne saaki ka sahaara bhi nahin milta.
Aankhoon mein kashishoon ke ghere,
aansoon ban ab beh rahe hain...
Mann ki khwahishoon ke aashiyaane,
Jaane kahaan kho gaye hain...
Gardishoon mein chaye wo taaaron ke mele,
Sannate ki chadhar odhe gum ho gaye hain...
Meri ulfat ke wo rangeen afsane,
simat ke barkha mein murjha rahe hain...
Sulagte mere is jeevan ki...
ab raakhein udhne lagi hain...
Sard aahoon ki thithur mein
vo namm hone chale hain...
Saanson mein basi narm garmaahat,
ab khud mein bujhne lagi hai...
Rosandaanoon ke ujaaloon mein,
door tak andhere chaane lage hain...
Mere ateet ki parchaie mein,
ab merawajood mitne laga hai...
Mere dard min ab jo reh gaya hai baki,
wo sirf mere yaar ki salaamati ki ek dua hai......

Ki andhere mein chiraag jalaane nikle the,
Ghar apna jaala aaye..
Khud hi apne haathoon se,
apne yaar ka gala daba aaye

kacchi kali todi nahin jaati,
puraani mohabbatein chodi nahin jaati
waqt ki har karvat pe,
zindagi ki raahein modi nahin jaati
ek baar kuch khone pe,
phir paane ki umeed choi nahin jaati
kuch khwahishoon ke peeche,
apni manzilien bhulai nahin jaati
gam-e-dil ke saayoon mein
apni parchaiyaan khoi nahi jaati
khud hi apne haathoon se ,
ulfat ki nayya duboi nahin jaati
lakh koshish karein diljale,
uski schhaie dil se chupaiye nahin jaati