Friday, July 06, 2007

The traditional woman and the "today's" woman

SEX EQUALITY..now please don't mistake me for a male chauvinist. What i have presented below are merely a set of views which can be termed as gratuitous but still i would like to name them the result of my deliberations.
I take my culture ,traditions and religion into picture and try hard but yet fail to condone the way in which women are praised and given a status far greater than that of man. She has been bestowed with appellations that would leave a flatterer gasping for breath, I mean if there was a word to describe " exaggeration beyond limits" then it would suffice, but i guess the phenomenon is ineffable. The apotheosis of woman in every role she plays simply leaves me wondering about the inscrutability of these appellations as i see no justification behind them when "today's woman" is juxtaposed with them(no offence meant).
I am sure ,for many of the readers, the above article would have been infuriating and a chauvinist image of me, would have been instilled in their minds by now, but please be patient and let me clarify my outrageous comments.
I guess i have a worm in my gut which keeps making me ponder over and question every adage, if I may call it that.I look back at what "woman" has gone through in our society over the last milleniums and what many of them are going through even today and i look at the "new avtaar" or "today's woman", who is independent,ambitious and maybe has compramised on certain values her predecessors did not even think of neglecting.
The manner in which women have been treated in our society can be described by only one kind of expression,disgust !For centuries now,she has been harrassed, tortured, disrespected, made irrelevant in discussing family issues,considered as bad fate when she is born and yet inspite of all that, all she has given in return is LIFE and LOVE in the very roles i mentioned above thus accquiring the status of a GODDESS, which by the way according to me is a mere pat on the back considering the magnitude of agony they go thru(after all you just call them that, you dont treat them like one..do you? hypocricy at its height).
For the reader who is going through my article solemnly, the above paragraph will seem like a U-turn.Well it isnt and i will tell you why.While all the above stated things are true,it is also true that for these milleniums it has been a woman who has illtreated a woman the most,or plotted or conspired against her(Indian society's saas-bahu pair ! for the brazillian pals..well mother in law and daughter in law ).While often man's attrocities are highlighted and trumpets blown, these go unnoticed.What's funny is that the oppressed becomes the oppressor!Does she then deserve the godhood? I wonder!
That scenario however is now changing in the modern India, thanks to the "today's woman".And who is this today's woman?She is the one who says she is equal with man..ans asks for reservation!,She is the one who is as competitive,probably more and as capable as successful as man in every feild of life we can imagine to have.She is also the one who is not as compassionate, as tolerant, as forgiving as her ancestors..she is not and the readers(Indians) i believe will agree with that..again its not an absolute that i state but yes, it is true for a majority of them found in our metropolitan cities and other developed cities..The point again being that,she no longer has the basic attributes that led to her apotheosis in the first place..!
Often I have heard and theres also a comment that was posted before the completion of this article by a very dear friend,about trying the experience of delivering a baby.Well,i personally feel, and no offence meant, that is a very lame excuse to give.I mean women are blessed with this gift of not just sowing but also nurturing and producing life and protecting it at the expense of their body ,till it is fit to face the world, and you use such a divine thing and call it a pain and ask others to try it as if it were a burden on you..?If you do..then i have no words..cause i always considered that to be the most enchanting thing about life..how women could raise it in their womb.
The articles throws light on a few aspects but has not been clear about what its trying to convey..I know,but thats because its not supposed to convey anything till now,Its just meant to make you ponder over certain things you may not have thpought of.while the next tells you the message behind the article..
Many times when i see my mom in the kitchen working hard to make a good dinner after a full day of work every day of the week,while we sit and enjoy,I often wonder what she's thinking..and i know its about some issue or some concern she has for the house or its members but she certainly is not complaining.She is God for m,and every such woman is a God.I despise the very sight of a man who would disrespect a woman and totally support the fact that women can outdo men in every feild if they want to..but i would like "today's woman " to remember ..while they are on their quest to glory and equality and other stuff, they should not leave behind those few qualities a man would have to die over hundred times for to acheive, in the dump.For if the baby is thrown out of the tub along with the water then,well you are no different and as common as me..the way alana put it ..macho man..

20 comments:

shruti said...

ok u were rite!!! i shud not hav read it!! so no comments until u finish it...

Alana said...

'...don't mistake me for a male chauvinist...' huh?!?
You're being!!! Till the last line you wrote! You'd better change your mind till the end of this article... Everybody already knows what you're going to say, your intentions. Don't complain about women! We're tired of this! And, for sure, still there is a space for gentlemen and intelligent guys who share things with women, instead of treating them like the weak one... Let's not talk about men having a cesarean section (you can choose physical or emotional effect to compare) as an experience, here... Or men going to the dentist, having the flu, having a fever, meeting a cockroach at the kitchen with nobody around... But I'll wait for the end of this... Write what you think... I'm waiting...
Macho man!!

Alana said...

Ah! Forget about that cesarean thing! Choose that other way of giving birth a child and then compare a man to a woman. After that, complain about her... The changes latelly... Go ahead!
Macho man!!!!

descrying the shadows said...

@ alana..he he..maam u shud not jump to conclusions...i am sure u will appreciate the article...and i take no offence from your comment cause well u have done just exactly what i have mentioned ppl will do.....

Matangi Mawley said...

i agree with u!

is it not praising women to an unreasonable, unrealistic extent also a gender inequality???

all these thigs are basically apologies for treating them as second rate citizens. it's a deceitful and unconcious game plan!

alana said...

Whoa!!! Well, well... If you chose a topic like this, you should expect some reaction but I'm really tired of seeing men complaining about women and comparing... There's no how to compare... You guys, male race, sure have your qualities, mainly recognizing that you're losing the first position in the podium hahaha... Then, you react! That action/reaction thing! But, I see your case is totally
different and, wanna know what I have to tell you?
Clap, clap, clap, clap!!! That's it! You deserve this! Aplauses!!! Thank goodness exist men like you... There's still a hope on Earth! As you said, I appreciated your article...
After reading it till the end... Good boy!! Just don't forget that when you write on net, you talk to the entire world... It's the globalization! And, please, don't mind about my comments... I take out the words I wrote before...

Harsha said...

hey u made me think all throu reading the post..
well nice topic.. loved reading it(thou was getting confused)..
but yea it true the "modern women" gets all facilities and opportunities on par with men but its sad to note the way they still seek reservations..

Total crap said...

hey man, a different take on the topic. nice one though, not get to hear such views too often

Pinaz said...

Siddharth, i do agree that there has been a significant development in all feild by woman...but there are still many parts of world were woman are oppressed,for that sake india too....apart frm that how much ever a woman prospers,wat a woman goes thru a man can never...even today woman when a marriage happens,it woman who leaves her house...she changes her self accor to the family, and does n number of sacrifies....i hav many more reasons to give u...any ways dint intend to debate........but.......this really sounds like a male chauvinist........

descrying the shadows said...

@ pinaz di..
No di you misunderstood my passage..YOou are very roght in all the things you stated above you are and i have condemned them too though not blatantly..while i totally support the advancement and upliftment of women all i have said is..they should not neglect certain responsibilities those which cannot be carried out by a man..like no one can replace a mother..you know what is interesting ..majority of familoies with working parents prefer to put their children in schools which keep them frm morning 8 till 8 in the evening..srikrishnaveni for example..
no offence di..but wen the question for equality arises ..the question of cost shpuld also arise..if women today adopt the same status that of man ..its good..but if they drop those things which make them great then well i believe they shud not be considered great..
only in that case..
I have mentioned it in my last para..plz go thru it again..its not a debate..its a reasoning...

Kaos said...

i think u have confused typical "women" with the hindustani nari.. i really dont think that women EVERYWHERE ARE GODDESSES! at any point of time.. it is true that indian women are far more tolerant of men and women, than women elsewhere. so lets not generalize to all women. the rest of the story is ur take on them. something which can and wil be debated by women everywhere and by men here. enjoy.

descrying the shadows said...

@kaos..hey man..well u are right it is about indian women only..i have mentioned it in the article too but the other point about indian women being more tolerant..i don think we can also say that..coz we don know that ..do we??

Shyam said...

A couple of U-turns to boggle your mind out into further curiosity! Some of them may have different views...but the thinking is to be appreciated, well written..A food for thought for one & all !

Priya Joyce said...

**to remember ..while they are on their quest to glory and equality and other stuff, they should not leave behind those few qualities a man would have to die over hundred times for to achieve, in the dump."
I felt this to be the striking line of your post.
I strongly believe that women can and succeed in all things they do.
But many women feel if they wear jeans and go and work outside only their importance is felt otherwise not.
This is not their fault also because the society things that way those who earn they r the head of the family. Why don't we give equal status to both household and other work,ultimately economics and money is the culprit.
Money minded world u see!!!!!

descrying the shadows said...

@priya joyce..
Hmmm.. yeah .. money minded world ...
that is one of the factors .. I agree..

enchanted illusionz said...

do u thnk being heaped wit praises or de tag of GODDESS mean much to a woman . as i see it , this is just another chain dat is put over women , coz when someone tells u , u r good , den u wld strive 2 keep dat image up, it wrks psycologically. now when women r called as goddess , does dat mean , v r to suffer n silence , to b vry patient & forgiving , to close her eyes when her husband sleeps arnd wit anoter women etc, becoz she is supposd 2 b a GODDESS. ha ha
its sad dat her male counterpart is not a GOD.

She is the one who says she is equal with man..ans asks for reservation!

as to dis, wen u say todays indian women , u r talking of millions of women of all ages , urban or rural , educated or illiterate etc. there r a lot of diversities among dis set of women , some wldnt need any extra help 2 get dem whr dey wnt 2 b , some wldnt need it , but wld wnt it nyway coz it wld obviously b easier & som cant get on without a looot of such helps.

no..i aint goin 2 call u a chauvinist or a sycophant. y shld som1 b tagged wit a wrd jus coz he spoke his mind.

descrying the shadows said...

@enchanted...
++now when women r called as goddess , does dat mean , v r to suffer n silence , to b vry patient & forgiving , to close her eyes when her husband sleeps arnd wit anoter women etc, becoz she is supposd 2 b a GODDESS. ha ha
its sad dat her male counterpart is not a GOD.
++++

Absolutely not .. see when i said tht u dnt treat them as goddess that is exactly what i pointed out ... the hypocrisy of our society .. If you really did then you would nt be unfaithful ..
secondly dear ... I did not ask them to be all forgiving ... there are limits to everything in this world .. there have to be ...
The point I conveyed is , if you look at our society (Indian) and the system of arranged marriages .. I feel the main reason behind their success has been a woman and her capacity to tolerate,adjust and forgive ... Though again tht does nt mean she should silently bear injustice ... but now a days even small issues cause break ups ... and alliances are blown to shambles...
What i conveyed is simply tht in the quest for glory a woman should remember that she is responsible for her man's success she really is and the vice-versa holds equally true ...
ask me and i will tell you that I don't see the being in front of me as a white, a black, a hindu , a muslim, a man or a woman .. i just see them as an Individual .. and tht compels me to respect their individuality and their perceptions even if i dont agree with them ... why ? because i expect ppl to respect my individuality and that comes at the price of me doing the same ... this post was written out of disgust for Men in our society and how hypocritical they are ... and mainly because i shocked to hear the views of some guys of my own age group ..1
ex: -- I have no probs in sleeping with 10 girls before i get married but I shud get a virgin for marriage ..!!!!!!
and about the tolerance thing i mentioned ... the reason is .. i have been in relationships and have faced rough weathers where i have supported them but I know it would not have been possible if they wud nt have been tolerant and taken some of the bad things in me ... Maybe its a wrong assumption I have made .. but i believe a woman is more adept at tht than man .. and thts what makes her great ..
I often fight with my mom on weekends .. why ?? because she does not let me cook even though i can .. on a regular basis ... why ? she says i wont be satisfied ..!!!! i get irked bbuy that answer .. Mom u r tired u wrk all day too .. i have nt done much tdy u rest i will cook whatever u wont ... No is the answer i get .. while tht irks me .. it also shows that she can bear fatigue .... and even though she has an easier way out she willingly chooses the harder way ... thts why she is a goddess .. how many fathers wud do tht ??? even i dnt offer help wen i am tired .... so u see even i cant do it .. but she does it every day for the last 32 years she has been doing it ...

Prash said...

For many women in India, they don't even know what we are talking about. They think that it is just normal the way things are...and of course, you have Men who are pointing the fingers to the "RELIGION"...

enchanted illusionz said...

ask me and i will tell you that I don't see the being in front of me as a white, a black, a hindu , a muslim, a man or a woman .. i just see them as an Individual .

dats de best way to show respect 2 a person , to take dem 4 wot dey r & evry1 has an individuality even beyond thier gender. its gud 2 knw dat ppl lik u do exist.

What i conveyed is simply tht in the quest for glory a woman should remember that she is responsible for her man's success she really is and the vice-versa holds equally true ...

m sorry dat i don agree wit des words, a women or a man for dat matter is NOT RESPONSIBLE to de oters success. dey may or may not contribute , its not a duty , it happens out of love.
donno weter u intend to mean so , but do u thnk ders an OBLIGATION to help the oter in thier life . it hppns naturally , u wldnt even feel de pinch of de sacrifices u make for de oter .....its not lik OH! I SHLD DO DIS 4 HIM, but i cant help not helping him.luckily there are a lot f women wh feels dis way , but if she doesnt , ders no point n sacrificing , it wld only b a burden 2 her.
de urge 2 help de partner shld hv com 2 de women or man 4 dat matter naturally , if it doesnt , v cant dictate dat it shld b der.
if its not der , its not der , der ends de discussion. coz u can feel only wot u feel.

as 2 de eg u gave , men continously shock me wit thier hypocrisy & more tan dat plain stupidity.

as 2 women being more tolerant tan men , if u wer 2 speak generally...yes , almst alwz it is so.

& ur mom, she is a sweetheart!
well..most mothers are. but i also know of a few men too hw wld do anythn 4 thier kids , esp wen hez de single parent ....may nt b dat men are incapable of doin it , givn a chance dey can reveal thier unconditional luv too.
& heyya , terribly srry 4 bein so late.

descrying the shadows said...

@ enchanted illussions
I never said " she should be responsible" i aid " she IS" there is a world of difference and yes i kinda did mean what u pointed out in that regard ... it's not an intentional effort rather a realisation tht one has that the journey and the contentment from the result wud nt have been the same ...
ultimately it is not about "MAN" or "WOMAN" it is about "HUMANS" for me ... I have in my small life of 22 years been in moments where i had acheived something i desired a lot .. a victory and recognition .. but i cud nt share it with the one person i wanted to ... reasons beyond my control ... the person was nt responsible for my win .. but the win seemed incomplete without her being there in the celebration .. now this is just one aspect of it .. I pretty much despise the society I am in .. and i am honest about that and dont have any concerns about what ppl will think ... but the girl i will be with or my wife and my close friends they do matter in life and the one who matters the most and who will matter the most at the end of the day will be my wife .. nt even my parents
success will nt be holistic without her for me ... without THE woman of my life in it ... thts wht i meant
and naaah no apologies maam ... :)