Monday, May 21, 2007

Life and the ones we leave behind....

Four years have come to and end...rather an end of an era..my engg. life !!!!
people are busy organising get to gethersa ,farewells and other stuff..Many getting emotional about the whole thing and have tears in their eyes..All this happening and i maintain a frigid face. No room for any expression of sorrow or grief. I stand amongst them, as though i am unfathomable by such attachments and i start to wonder .....I wonder as to why that friend of mine was crying,why that guy i know as a person who could be called nothing less than a prankster was feeling abject even talking about it....I thought for a long time and having failed to find an answer, i deemed myself a "rock" and was basking in its glory or whatever i thought of it.I argued and defended my stand telling those around me that its life and these things keep happening and we should learn to take it...I had managed to convince myself somehow (or maybe it was inherently innate),of the fact that i would not feel any sorrow..But life they say has its own way of teaching us..and it did..there came a day when a friend of mine left and i knew that he would be gone now for a long time. As i saw him gear up for his journey i was feeling a kind of an upsurge witthin myself, it felt strange and made me sink for a while..i was trying to decipher those moments ,but invain ..Then it happened..we said good bye ..Those two words were the last straw to break my back.They opened the gates of an emotion i had thought myself to be free from...and i felt the pain.it lasted honestly for two or three minutes but it was enough for me to realise the fact that..no matter how strong how proud or how egoistic we get somewhere deep inside we all crave for the same things...the antle we all don might be diffrerent but the core still is the same...And then i looked back at what i had thought about myself earlier and gave myself a deriding and depricating smile ..as though telling myself...that i was scared..scared more than the others and i did not even have the courage to accept my fear....and that what i saw as a weakness was nothing but strength and what i saw in myself nothin but a classic example of a bravado in a desperate attempt to uphold a false pride....

10 comments:

Prasoon Joshi said...

"I argued and defended my stand telling those around me that its life and these things keep happening and we should learn to take it..."
wel, its not somethin that a person tries to avoid i guess .. its not somethin bad thats happening .. a 'good-bye' is bound to happen and people have their own way of reactin to it .. some would cry others just keep a smile on .. but that doesn mean that the feeling of a loss is not present !!!

descrying the shadows said...

yes u r right if the stand is taken as somethin to help you through it and not if it is meant to give u false image of yourself...so while i do agree with what u said i gave u my side of it...

Sanjit said...

Fair enuf, I guess.

Shiv said...

Dont we all hate good byes??? Be it a friend or Family, every good bye indicates a new start... Are we afraid to cope with the new starts, that we prefer avoiding the goodbyes? Or are we too much in love with the present that we dont want to embrace a new future? Food for thought!!! :)

Thanks for the invitation bro!!!

Anonymous said...

Thats too emotional!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I too felt near same !..it happens.... Its a matter of shedding our false pride and giving way to feelings

Kaos said...

who was the guy that u 'felt' for?

Rafaela said...

Baby, I really apreciate the way you describe the love you lived before but this is past now, just part of your history and I'm really happy we're together and that you're coming to Spain with me... Thank goodness we're together now and you know the real meaning of love... That one before is 1% of the love we're sharing now... And, the most importante thing: we think the same way, we want the same things, I love you and you love me the way I could never imagine getting involved... Not so fast... God's arrangement! It's writen in the stars... Even our plan of having our twins next year...
Entonces, mi hermoso príncipe, ♥ te quiero!!!
Un gran beso de tu Rafaela

Shiv said...

Huh??? what was the above comment???

Matangi Mawley said...

tht was a beautiful post!
i m nt thinkikg abt good bye s right nw.. i still got 1 more yr to go! bt guess it's going to b more difficult thn wht i ve estimated it to be!.. thnx to u'r post 4 tht!