Life and the ones we leave behind....

Four years have come to and end...rather an end of an era..my engg. life !!!!
people are busy organising get to gethersa ,farewells and other stuff..Many getting emotional about the whole thing and have tears in their eyes..All this happening and i maintain a frigid face. No room for any expression of sorrow or grief. I stand amongst them, as though i am unfathomable by such attachments and i start to wonder .....I wonder as to why that friend of mine was crying,why that guy i know as a person who could be called nothing less than a prankster was feeling abject even talking about it....I thought for a long time and having failed to find an answer, i deemed myself a "rock" and was basking in its glory or whatever i thought of it.I argued and defended my stand telling those around me that its life and these things keep happening and we should learn to take it...I had managed to convince myself somehow (or maybe it was inherently innate),of the fact that i would not feel any sorrow..But life they say has its own way of teaching us..and it did..there came a day when a friend of mine left and i knew that he would be gone now for a long time. As i saw him gear up for his journey i was feeling a kind of an upsurge witthin myself, it felt strange and made me sink for a while..i was trying to decipher those moments ,but invain ..Then it happened..we said good bye ..Those two words were the last straw to break my back.They opened the gates of an emotion i had thought myself to be free from...and i felt the pain.it lasted honestly for two or three minutes but it was enough for me to realise the fact that..no matter how strong how proud or how egoistic we get somewhere deep inside we all crave for the same things...the antle we all don might be diffrerent but the core still is the same...And then i looked back at what i had thought about myself earlier and gave myself a deriding and depricating smile ..as though telling myself...that i was scared..scared more than the others and i did not even have the courage to accept my fear....and that what i saw as a weakness was nothing but strength and what i saw in myself nothin but a classic example of a bravado in a desperate attempt to uphold a false pride....