Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
but life seemed to be better yesterday ..
I thought of living the future in a better way...
not happy with what had become of me today ...
I lay desolate,waiting for the end of the day ..
the clock stopped ticking ... and i lost track of today ....
time passed, kept me unaware, at bay ....
Another day turned wretched when tomorrow replaced today
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
dil ka kya kasoor hai
dil ka kahaan milaap hai!
saath zamaane ke ho liye
zamaana kahin bichchad gaya
bus dil dhadaktaa reh gaya!
Dhadkane na suni maine phir bhi
zamaane ke khayaal mein, par
zamaana bekhayaal tha,
dil kahte kahte thak gaya!
Gair ke sawaal par
khud ko ansunaa kar diya
zamaane ke khayal se
dil ko rusva kar diya!
Waqt aise hi gujar gaya
aur zamaana badal gayaa
par, dil waise hi dhadak rahaa thaa
jaise phir mujhse kuch keh raha thaa!
Kyaa suntaa mai ab dil ki sada
waqt bahut nikal gaya thaa
zamaane ke khayaal mein mai
khud se be-khayaal ho gaya thaa !
Friday, September 19, 2008
na jaane kahaan strotra inka !
nahin bharta ji ab maikadoon se,
paimana khali pada hai dil ka.
Guzarte hue pal lagte hain bhari,
Jeevan ke safar ka anth nahin dikhta.
Kadmoon ke neeche rahein dagmaga rahi,
Apne saaki ka sahaara bhi nahin milta.
Aankhoon mein kashishoon ke ghere,
aansoon ban ab beh rahe hain...
Mann ki khwahishoon ke aashiyaane,
Jaane kahaan kho gaye hain...
Gardishoon mein chaye wo taaaron ke mele,
Sannate ki chadhar odhe gum ho gaye hain...
Meri ulfat ke wo rangeen afsane,
simat ke barkha mein murjha rahe hain...
Sulagte mere is jeevan ki...
ab raakhein udhne lagi hain...
Sard aahoon ki thithur mein
vo namm hone chale hain...
Saanson mein basi narm garmaahat,
ab khud mein bujhne lagi hai...
Rosandaanoon ke ujaaloon mein,
door tak andhere chaane lage hain...
Mere ateet ki parchaie mein,
ab merawajood mitne laga hai...
Mere dard min ab jo reh gaya hai baki,
wo sirf mere yaar ki salaamati ki ek dua hai......
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Kaise main kahoon unse, tu mere liye kya hai.....(How do I put in words to them, what you mean to me...)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I shall be there for you,forever and ever to come
To be with you always,to be not two but one
walk with you through lanes ahead dark and sly,
be with you through all your sorrows and strife.
We shall show the world,the strength that lies,
deep beneath our feelings for each other,in our eyes.
with the essence of each other,shall we live apart for a while,
but together in our hearts beating in unison,in our smile.
I have seen a life out there,free from care
filled with joys and happiness,and a lot to spare,
For long i have prayed,with only one thought in my mind,
A thought very divine,a thought "thou art mine".
With the fear of the world our steps shall not quiver,
We shall fall on each other through horror and rise,not shiver.
Aboard the ship of hardships shall we make a world,
A world Utopian,replete with love,OUR WORLD.
there is a promise,my love,I make,far away though we stay
My love, for you shall be always there,come what may.
For,O! My love!,What the wall of thorns to cross,
If the mere touch of thy lay across.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
This is a translation of a Hindi poem I wrote in May 2004 ...
Dusk was approaching the city covered by lights,
there was commotion all around, hustle in someone's mind.
Shadows cast by dark clouds encroached upon the sunlight,
as he kept walking on a path that had been nothing but unkind.
An ordinary man, he traveled on the less often traveled paths,
but his destination was in someone's arms, his love.
He took a detour towards darkness,to face the path's wrath,
as he could sense her fragrance from that road,feel her love.
Blinded in love,darkness tried but invain to be an impediment,
only to find his march getting swifter, and his breath quicker.
Then lightning struck, halting his life long journey in a moment,
It was not fear but the sight of a tear,the momentary glimpse of her.
The moon was now out in the sky, clouds had been banished from there,
the only noise that could be heard was of the silence that lay around.
there was a slight breeze,as their breath caused ripples in the air,
Frigid weather,the only warmth they got was from the heated ground ..
there was only one heart beating maybe,between the two bodies,
faith was flowing between them,the depth seen in their eyess.
filling each other in love's embrace, they sat beneath the trees,
with a haggard body,she placed his head gently on her thighs.
She played with his hair,talking not in words but mischievous signs,
hiding the plethora of thorns that lay pierced in her,under a smile.
He had always known her plight,knew she had endured great pains,
but he kept mum, to make the mesmerizing moment last for a while.
The last expression on their face was that of a contended smile,
as their heartbeats lowered becoming heavier in every breath.
I know not for sure, maybe some tears were shed that day,
maybe those few moments turned eternal,filling life's dearth.
maybe the hearts had succumbed that day,stopped beating,
maybe two souls had joined as one and left the world that night.
Shayad us raat ko....
Din ke teesre pehar ka anth tha, roshini se dhake us shehar mein,
charoon aur chahel pehal thi,shor macha tha kisi ke mann mein
aaftab chup raha tha,ghane baadaloon ki chaon mein
Ek umr lamba safar tai kar raha tha wo,nirdayi rahoon pe.
ek samanya rahi hi tha magar asaamanya raahoon pe,
manzil uski alag thi,door kisi ki baahoon mein.
Ek mod mud gaya vo,chal pada andhere ki oor,
Kareeb kahin thi wo, hawa ki lehron mein ehsaas tha uska.
Andhera ghana tha,par kab gavara thi roshni us ulfat ke andhe ko,
Uski dhadkannein badh rahi thi,kadamoon mein furti bhar rahi thi.
Achanak bijli kadki,aur uski dhadkan jaise tham si gayi,
vo saamne khadi thi uske,aankhoon mein nami bhi thi
mahtaab ab benakaab ho raha tha,shor bhi jaise sirf sannate ka tha,
pavan to beh rahi thi magar,sirf unke saansoon mein.
Ek dil dhadak raha tha,shayad do jismoon ke beech,
Ek vishwas beh raha tha,un aankhoon ke beech.
baith gaye pedon ke neeche vo,pyaar ki baahoon mein,
thaka hua tha wo,aur let gaya tha uski goad mein.
Khel rahi thi uske baalon se,aur baatein kar rahi thi nat khat isshaaroon se,
hasi thi khili hui thi chehre pe,kai chube hue kaante chupaye the usne aanchal mein.
Wo jaanta tha ki dard tha, chupa hua uske dil mein,
par kuch na kehna chahta tha wo,anoothe us ek pal mein.
Ek halki si muskaan aane lagi unke hoonthoon pe,dhadkanein ab bhaari hone lagi thi,
kuch ashq vida hue the shayad us raat ko,kuch lamhe ek sadi bane the shayad us raat ko,
dhadkanein duniya ke sitamoon ke bhaar tale dab gayi thi shayad us raat ko,
do roohein ek ho chod chali thi sansaar, shayad us raat ko...
Thursday, September 04, 2008
An unknown inadequacy in my desires has taken birth..
With the fuel of aspirations,on life's path does man ride,
but the yearning to live itself seems to be beyond my heart's stride..
It's not been a wretched life,many wishes have been rendered,
but a prayer from within my heart always remained unanswered..
To make one smile it takes only a few beautiful moments of his life,
alas! the prayer of a smile was dismissed by the guardian of my life..
I had nurtured a dream in my heart,of us never being apart,
of holding your hand and walking undeterred on eternity's path..
We had trudged on many thorns too,faced many harsh weather,
But a sore spot on my own heart turned into our bond's cancer..
Day dreams, illusions and hallucinations fill the life i now lead,
To bear the pain of breathing,i get high on liqueur, pot and weed ...
If all my anesthetic attempts fail to relieve me, a poem for you I create,
When all fails as a last resort a picture of self in darkness, I incinerate
There are many patches of my life, to forget them forever i yearn,
The pain has filled in my veins, become a poison i cannot discern.
It's the blood flowing through the same veins that keeps me alive,
To be free from pain i need to cut my veins open,but then,
How do I stay alive???
This post is a transliteration of an original piece i wrote in hindi which is also published on this blog..
Zinda kaise rahoon
ek ghutan si reh gayi bas saansoon mein..
ek anjaani si kami mehsoos ho rahi hai armaanoon mein...
jeene ke liye tamanaaooon ki zaroorat hai magar ...
jeene ki tamanaa hi nahi rehguzar dil ki panahoon mein..
kai khwahishein puri hui hain meri..
ek iltija abhi tak namanzoor reh gayi..
hasne ke liye chand haseen lamhe hote hain kafi magar
hasne ki wo ek fariyaad hi ko ansuna kar diya hai usne..
tere saath guzar karne ki chah pali thi dil mein..
tere daman ko thamke safar tai karna tha mujhko..
paon mein kai kaantooon ke dard ko jhela bhi tha humnein..
Ek chale ne dil ko hi nasoor bana diya ulfat ka,kya karein...
ab mai khayaloon ki ek zindagi guzarta hoon..
jeene ke dard ko sehne ke liye khud ko nashe mein utaarta hoon..
nashe mein bhi saha nahi jaata to ek kavita rachata hoon..
wo bhi nahi sahlati agar to,andhere mein khud ki ek tasveer jalata hoon..
kai pehloo jeevan ke main bhulana chahta hoon..
un pehluon ka dard ragoon me bas gaya hai,kya karoon
ragoon mein bahta hua rakht hi zinda rakha hai mujhko..
ragoon ko kat nasoor ko alag karoon to zinda kaise rahoon...
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
A foul quiet shattered as the breeze filled the midnight with an eerie howl,
Both quiet and howl were deafening ,the land lay devoid of any soul.
The moon was at its full in the sky,it's light immaculate milky white,
Land bereft of it by such clouds,whose darkness was envied by the night.
Suddenly rose a pandemonium piercing the night,from a graveyard nearby,
His curiosity had landed him at the devils lair,else he would have passed by.
He was a man, one of the many few who had survived, quivering with fright,
As the tombstone he sat on,addressed him with a laugh filled with sadistic delight.
"Get up! Get up! You! You must be crazy,else how could you dare,
to trespass boldly into my territory,take rest in the Devil's own lair ?"
"For eons I slept ignoring thee but I am awake,and it's your fault,
Your own actions led to it, sealing your destiny,placing your fate in my vault."
"Your sins proofs have been recorded,your soul is now arraigned,
It's no use trying to defend your case,You deserve to be detained.
But I am bound by some rules of nature,I shall show you some mercy,
I give you a chance to convince me,why I should let you go,condone thee."
Man sought for his ego,thought with it he would speak loud and clear,
But all it fetched him was trembling feet, and words mumbling out of fear.
His hands unintentionally reached out for faith,reaching out for his cross,
In an instant his mind cleared,he spoke without fear of his life's loss.
"I have known no fear,have always endured all degrees of pain,
I have been a sinner of nature,but my sins were not of no avail,not invain."
"It's nature's law,there's always something to loose for something to gain,
I destroyed many, but you cannot condone that in return i too have been slain."
"The shift in balance of nature is by me,a consequence of my desires,my errands,
I have robbed many life forms of their homes,I have been the only brigand."
"The truth of my existence you cannot deny,You will it or not,I shall not die,
I have always been punished by him and we are his creations,both you and I."
"I have been a kaleidoscope of sorts and while I have sinned,have also realised it,
I have redeemed my actions, tried to mend things,even if i had to pay a price for it."
"I am a result of what i made myself, I am the creation of my own actions,
You may curse me, But tell me have i ever blamed God for my own destruction?"
I speak to you today boldly with conviction,One of a many few men who are alive,
no matter what the impediments thrust upon me,to survive i shall unfailingly strive"
The devil appeared as man's own reflection,the encounter a creation of his own introspection,
A regular exercise in the history of mankind,though he was unaware of it's participation.
He geared up for what lay in front his future,not dark,though not very bright,
Forgetting to leave behind a mention of the exercise,like his ancestors, in the night...
I hope that man for once keeps in his memory the hardships he has endured and come out of many times.He keeps it in his memory to ensure he does not again commit the same crimes.. -Descrying the Shadows