yet another translation of a poem i wrote 3 years back ... as usual its nt better than the original .. I have tried to maintain the intensity .. don't know how far i succeeded...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know not from where it comes,that which ails my heart..I see no end to it,every passing moment further burdens my heart
the ground beneath seems to quiver,protagonist of my life has waned ...
the pot house fails to intoxicate me, my heart' cup lies broken, drained..
the objects of my eye's desires,rendered asunder by the flowing tears...
in shambles lie my hearts aspirations, lively no more,mere souvenirs
the carnivals in the skies have gone numb,a deafening silence fills the night...
the tales of my love now no longer blossom,darkness has killed the light
Life's burning into nothing,ashes fly and flames rise as the harsh winds blow
the cosy warmth of my breath is frozen,the carcass of my heart is what glows..
my identity's lost,the shadows of the past usher in stealing the light of the day...
desolate,a prayer for her happiness is all that's left of me and my pain today.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EK DUA HAI....
Ajab yeh dil ki ranjishein hain...
na jaane kahaan strotra inka !
nahin bharta ji ab maikadoon se,
paimana khali pada hai dil ka.
Guzarte hue pal lagte hain bhari,
Jeevan ke safar ka anth nahin dikhta.
Kadmoon ke neeche rahein dagmaga rahi,
Apne saaki ka sahaara bhi nahin milta.
Aankhoon mein kashishoon ke ghere,
aansoon ban ab beh rahe hain...
Mann ki khwahishoon ke aashiyaane,
Jaane kahaan kho gaye hain...
Gardishoon mein chaye wo taaaron ke mele,
Sannate ki chadhar odhe gum ho gaye hain...
Meri ulfat ke wo rangeen afsane,
simat ke barkha mein murjha rahe hain...
Sulagte mere is jeevan ki...
ab raakhein udhne lagi hain...
Sard aahoon ki thithur mein
vo namm hone chale hain...
Saanson mein basi narm garmaahat,
ab khud mein bujhne lagi hai...
Rosandaanoon ke ujaaloon mein,
door tak andhere chaane lage hain...
Mere ateet ki parchaie mein,
ab merawajood mitne laga hai...
Mere dard min ab jo reh gaya hai baki,
wo sirf mere yaar ki salaamati ki ek dua hai......
na jaane kahaan strotra inka !
nahin bharta ji ab maikadoon se,
paimana khali pada hai dil ka.
Guzarte hue pal lagte hain bhari,
Jeevan ke safar ka anth nahin dikhta.
Kadmoon ke neeche rahein dagmaga rahi,
Apne saaki ka sahaara bhi nahin milta.
Aankhoon mein kashishoon ke ghere,
aansoon ban ab beh rahe hain...
Mann ki khwahishoon ke aashiyaane,
Jaane kahaan kho gaye hain...
Gardishoon mein chaye wo taaaron ke mele,
Sannate ki chadhar odhe gum ho gaye hain...
Meri ulfat ke wo rangeen afsane,
simat ke barkha mein murjha rahe hain...
Sulagte mere is jeevan ki...
ab raakhein udhne lagi hain...
Sard aahoon ki thithur mein
vo namm hone chale hain...
Saanson mein basi narm garmaahat,
ab khud mein bujhne lagi hai...
Rosandaanoon ke ujaaloon mein,
door tak andhere chaane lage hain...
Mere ateet ki parchaie mein,
ab merawajood mitne laga hai...
Mere dard min ab jo reh gaya hai baki,
wo sirf mere yaar ki salaamati ki ek dua hai......
44 comments:
That was so painful :(
Wonderful verses buddy,once again you have done justice to your work with the translation :)
*Applause*
thanks ... I am glad u liked it
it wud have hurt had i not done justice to it .. for i consider the one in hindi to be my best wrk ever .. for my life to come and tht has been
W o W... *No, not World of Warcraft!*
That was one from the top deck... A1! Kudos bro'...
"Life's burning into nothing, ashes fly and flames rise as the harsh winds blow; the cosy warmth of my breath is frozen,the carcass of my heart is what glows"
--- So telling!
Peace...
@kartz thanx
tat was very touching
very well written
this seems to be coming out of ur heart without any sugar coat or so.
lovely
as always loved the hindi version more than the english translation...
Aankhoon mein kashishoon ke ghere,
aansoon ban ab beh rahe hain...
these words swept me off my feet....
great work..truly amazing
Really beautiful. Loved the last four lines of the hindi version.
@ priya .. thanks ... Yeah maybe it did ... Wrote it during an electronics class
:)
@shruti thanks dear ... i hope you are feeling a lil better now... be well :)
@akshaya ...
thanks ... see .. u will get proficient in hindi if you keep reading my blogs .. lol ..
Ya I wont have any probs watching the nxt movie with 'Jodha-Akbar'esq hindi:)
though my hindi knowledge is not much to speak about, i usualy read ur hindi poems first and then the translation..doing it the other way around sometimes doesn't produce the desired effect. loved this one:)
@akshaya .. LOL .. ;)
@praveen .. thanks man ... i guess i did the translation for the few friends who do not understand hindi .. and if u liked it .. tht serves as a reward in itself ...
NICE:-)
@ gauri .. thanks
tum to angrezi guLzaar ho be.
i loved the ending buddy--
a prayer for her happiness is all that's left of me and my pain today.....
have rolled you :D
@ vicky .. :D thanks
bahut badi baat bol diye bhai ... itna samman hamare gale ke neeche nai utarega ... he he
thanks though appreciate it and thnx for rolling me :)
are bhai ..tum isi layak ho :D
baaki yaar itni pyaari playlist lagaye ho mre to addict ho gaya hoon.
mast choice hai tumhari hero.
@vicky .. thnx
waise ek arsa ho gaya hai aisi bhasha sune hue ... college mein dost the to unke saath bahut bakchoudi hoti thi ... "be" jaise shabd to aajkal sirf ek yaad banke reh gaye hain ...
seriously .. dost college ki yaad aagayi .... :)
:D
it's gives that apnepan waali feeling na.. :D
chalo be ..kaise ho be..kahaan the be.. hehe I miss my friends too..
kabhi kabhi phone pe bakchoudi kerke yaadein taaza ker lete hain.. :D
tum sunao be kya kerte ho tum??
bhai me doing my PG.
Mca last year in 5th sem right now.
tum financial sector mein ho sahi hia....kya lagta hai scene iss sal ka..17 k cross hoga??
consultancy ..kya kerteain hain ismein i have no idea??
financial pool dhoondte ho kya company ke liye??
@ vicky
bhai mai sone chala .. leave me ur mail ID will let u knw in detail about my wrk ... on chat ... blog is way too public ... cya
check my profile...
my e-mail id is their.
add me bro..
cheers
its not easy for me to understand hindi poems..
thnx for ur translation...loved the poem totally..meaningful and deep..!!
great work friend..!!
:)
@ vinz .. thnaks for dropping by ...
glad u liked it .. :)
wow i have felt that during sum of the low periods in my life... i like the way u ended it positively.. gr8 job....
I dnt think i would ever be able to translate the poem this successfully... maybe ur feelings a re so pure that u get the messages across no matter the language. !
ps : nice to see another blogger from j/k :)
@ story teller .. thanks man .. really tht was the best thing anyone could have said about my writing .. feelings being pure ...
welcome here
love it, dunno know really how to comment such a beautiful thing ;(
thanks
Di.
@ cess di .. I shud be the ne saying thanks di ..
glas u understood it
:)
**my identity's lost,the shadows of the past usher in stealing the light of the day
thats actually wut ur identity is. pleasure or pain, good or bad, happy or sad, thats what makes us, US.
:)
beautifully written!
Keshi.
@ keshi ..
thanks .. yes but when u loose a part of what u are .. ur identity has changed .. u still have one .. but its nt the original one ...
Arz kiya hai
Kyun Kabr khod raha hai Ghalib..
Kyyuuunnnn kabbrrr khod rahaa hai Ghaalib....
Laa Faavda la main khod un....
Bhai waah kamaal ki bersatality(versatality) and ati uttam translation.Aapko abse hum Blogender Kumar bulayenge....
@chaggoholic ...
Blogendar kumar ???? ha ha ha
LOL
thanks ... fot the new appelation .. ;)
u a certified poetry teacher! Hai na? DON’T U DARE LIE ;-)))
@ swats ..
ha ha ... nai yaar ... infact ... i can do poetry no more .. havent u noticed all my last 5 6 posts are previous works .... i have exhausted my creativity .. moreso dnt feel the need to write anymore ... i guess i will soon be bidding poetry adieu ...
I agree...we keep acquiring new ones...
Keshi.
Hey no! moron u oozing with creativity..dont ever do tht ;-)
@ keshi ... glad we agree with each other ..
@ swats ... he he tanks .... for the support ...
It's dark, but good.
@bla ..
thanks for dropping by... :)
makes sense. too much pain everywhere
@ sheetal .. thanx for dropping by ..
and makes sense ??? sory din get you :(
Post a Comment