Thursday, September 04, 2008

How do I stay alive???

All that's left of my heart beat is only a throttled breath,
An unknown inadequacy in my desires has taken birth..
With the fuel of aspirations,on life's path does man ride,
but the yearning to live itself seems to be beyond my heart's stride..

It's not been a wretched life,many wishes have been rendered,
but a prayer from within my heart always remained unanswered..
To make one smile it takes only a few beautiful moments of his life,
alas! the prayer of a smile was dismissed by the guardian of my life..

I had nurtured a dream in my heart,of us never being apart,
of holding your hand and walking undeterred on eternity's path..
We had trudged on many thorns too,faced many harsh weather,
But a sore spot on my own heart turned into our bond's cancer..

Day dreams, illusions and hallucinations fill the life i now lead,
To bear the pain of breathing,i get high on liqueur, pot and weed ...
If all my anesthetic attempts fail to relieve me, a poem for you I create,
When all fails as a last resort a picture of self in darkness, I incinerate

There are many patches of my life, to forget them forever i yearn,
The pain has filled in my veins, become a poison i cannot discern.
It's the blood flowing through the same veins that keeps me alive,
To be free from pain i need to cut my veins open,but then,
How do I stay alive???

This post is a transliteration of an original piece i wrote in hindi which is also published on this blog..

Zinda kaise rahoon
ek ghutan si reh gayi bas saansoon mein..
ek anjaani si kami mehsoos ho rahi hai armaanoon mein...
jeene ke liye tamanaaooon ki zaroorat hai magar ...
jeene ki tamanaa hi nahi rehguzar dil ki panahoon mein..

kai khwahishein puri hui hain meri..
ek iltija abhi tak namanzoor reh gayi..
hasne ke liye chand haseen lamhe hote hain kafi magar
hasne ki wo ek fariyaad hi ko ansuna kar diya hai usne..

tere saath guzar karne ki chah pali thi dil mein..
tere daman ko thamke safar tai karna tha mujhko..
paon mein kai kaantooon ke dard ko jhela bhi tha humnein..
Ek chale ne dil ko hi nasoor bana diya ulfat ka,kya karein...

ab mai khayaloon ki ek zindagi guzarta hoon..
jeene ke dard ko sehne ke liye khud ko nashe mein utaarta hoon..
nashe mein bhi saha nahi jaata to ek kavita rachata hoon..
wo bhi nahi sahlati agar to,andhere mein khud ki ek tasveer jalata hoon..

kai pehloo jeevan ke main bhulana chahta hoon..
un pehluon ka dard ragoon me bas gaya hai,kya karoon
ragoon mein bahta hua rakht hi zinda rakha hai mujhko..
ragoon ko kat nasoor ko alag karoon to zinda kaise rahoon...


Cess said...

i m not a big fan of poem, but this one is really nice and sad but a pleasure to read ;)

descrying the shadows said...

@ cess
thanks a lot di.. I ope i can get you to be a fan of poems over time ...

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

You have done justice to the original buddy,the feel one gets when reading both is more or less the same.

I liked it back then,like it more again :)

Keep up the good work!

descrying the shadows said...

@ sameera ..
thanks .. that makes me feel good .. i was hoping that i do tht .. :)

Prashant Sree said...

Hi Sid,

i really wonder how you express emotions in words.,. Well, that's something i would like to learn from you. :)

The poem is nice.

Keep expressing :)



descrying the shadows said...

guess i Just pen down what i feel or have felt from personal experiences and also some i have seen maybe even in stories..

Sreedhar said...

tats an awesome piece of poetry dude.. its rare 2 fine ppl who as gifted as u in writin poetry ... few ppl can express themselves in writing as well as u do...keep up ur good work ...

descrying the shadows said...

@ sreedhar ..
chee thanks man ... thts a lot

Kartz said...


But I still prefer the original. :)

descrying the shadows said...

yah me too

Shruti said...

it was stupendous...
amazing flow..i feel this is one of ur best works...

P.S. I liked the hindi translation better..

descrying the shadows said...

thanks .. yeah even i like the hindi one .. but i guess i will translate some more to make them available for those who do not understand hindi

Gauri Mathur said...


descrying the shadows said...

@ gauri ...
Well thanx for visiting

ANWESA said...

lyked both ur versions,but hindi one was more striking,they don't when they say-poetry is an overflow of powerful emotions.

Crystal.. said...

Came here thru Sameera's blog..
And you knw wht..the last para was like..AAAH!!..
I'm really bad at hindi poetry..but this was uberly neat!

descrying the shadows said...

@ anwesa ..
yeah ... it is really is..
glad you liked the post.. and even i find the original to be better..
Welcome here ...
thanks... yeah the last para is t fav too

Think Tank said...

the pain ..indescribable ..and beautifully put

descrying the shadows said...

@ Think tank
thanks for dropping by

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

When all fails as a last resort a picture of self in darkness, I incinerate

wow ! jaise ki shatru uncle kehtein hain "hayi ! shabaash"