Friday, August 08, 2008

Order and Beauty

ok ! my patheticattempt at a competition held by visesh @
http://visheshunni.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/order-and-beauty-contest/


One moment led to a Buddha, a Gandhi, an OshO.
Rendering them such power, a nation they could steeR.
Depriving themselves form petty desires,their souls they freeD
Enduring all odds, reached the highest pinnacles with easE.
Reticence not being a virtue, words were their speaR
Austerity being the media,they penetrated all human stratA
Noble in their approach, yet they forced all into deliberatioN.
Dictators and imperialists too felt compelled to pay them heeD.
Baffled by them are many,many try to wear that garB
Enlightenment evades them, as the truth they fail to seE
Alacrity with reticent desires would lead to it's alohA
Ubiquitous are their teachings,waiting to be learned by yoU
Treading on their path will not be easy,it's a very long fighT
Yearning to be enlightened will not do, my friend,you have to trY

My english prof in univ. once told me that there are those who can have a proper order to their thoughts and there are those who can give a poem the lyrical beauty.But it is the really great ones who could achieve both order and beauty in everything they wrote.Now i dont belong to either of the three communities, but what i tried here was essentially to maintain a particular order, a scheme and not let the beauty be disturbed. If you notice all first letters of all lines to gether read ORDER AND BEAUTY... so do the last ones.

17 comments:

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

That ain't pathetic! :)

Have not seen you around of late btw.

vishesh said...

really nice :) loved it :) that was something new to end all the sentences and the beginning with the same alphabet :) and also order and beauty :)

thanks for participating :)

descrying the shadows said...

@ sameera and vishesh ..
thanx ... though i somehow am not convinced of it ..

Shruti said...

Oh My God!!!!!
I always love such works...
I loved reading the ORDER BEAUTY vertically..
simply superb!!!

descrying the shadows said...

@ shruti...
thnx ...
I was nt expecting tht knd of a response to be honest .. thnx again

Manoj said...

Hello, I sorta trespassed here from Vishesh's blog. Well, I think you rightly used the word "Pathetic"...but in a wrong sense...I mean..You are being "Pathetically" modest!! Why can't you realise that what you wrote was a marvellous piece? lol..:D Wonderful idea and equally wonderful flow of thoughts. :)

Manoj said...

Hello, I sorta trespassed here from Vishesh's blog. Well, I think you rightly used the word "Pathetic"...but in a wrong sense...I mean..You are being "Pathetically" modest!! Why can't you realise that what you wrote was a marvellous piece? lol..:D Wonderful idea and equally wonderful flow of thoughts. :)

descrying the shadows said...

@manoj..
You are welcome to tresspass here anytime man....
and he he next time i will try to be modest in a better way .. ;)
Thanks .. appreciate ur comment

Kulpreet said...

Order and beauty: Wow...

descrying the shadows said...

@kulpreet
thanks. :)

rantravereflect/ jane said...

WOW. CAME HERE THROUGH SAMEERA..
awesum poem.. i mean teh order and the beauty- it was a sheer plaesure watching you spin those words into bewitchingly simple beauty!

descrying the shadows said...

@jane ..
welcome here ... thanx ..

vishesh said...

congrats ! you are the winner :)

Shiv said...

What can I say that others have not said!

I feel, the beauty of a this work of art (I use the phrase in purpose, and not for want of a better word) is the thematic cogency and part of you that is brought out by the work.

The theme surprised me, as this is coming from a man who called Gandhiji a dictator! :) The cogency shouts out on your face through out. The part of you is something I thought you were capable of, but u went a step beyond! :) A second read enhanced the underlying theme of the beauty of the ' dynamic world order' set by these men.

I wonder though, what would have happened if you had not highlighted the first and last part, would it be discerned by us? :)

Shiv said...

Knowing you, the reason why you were not entirely satisfied with the outcome could be because, you were wondering the same thing. What IF you had not highlighted the first and last letters. Would the Order and Beauty concept come out in the first read?

Am I correct?

descrying the shadows said...

@ shiv ..
he he yes sirjee thts exactly the reason .... I wonder even after that how many figured it out in the first read without reading the para where i mention it ..
thanks for the words of appreciation

Shiv said...

I did! :)