his bride

a day dawned and went by,

giving way to a lonely night

the stars were up , a crystal clear sky,

with a full moon looking milky white

dew on the grass filled two eyes

depleted with hope, towards the sky
the drops did fall as the ground bore sweat,
with the burden of his grief, the fate he had met
the wind grew moist from the tears in his eyes..
tears in memory of his love, heart and life.

agony caused by the loss of his wife..
She would make his problems disappear in a snap,
find a way out for him, through every cul-de-sac.
She would rejuvenate him,often make him a child,
pamper him, with her love make him go wild..
She gave him a thousand reasons to smile,
with her no agony lasted for more than a while..
Now she was gone,flashes of the past crowded his mind,
how she had been selfless and always very kind..
how he had often not noticed her cry,
instead of having wiped them,he let them dry..
Love her, he did, but also his own pride,
he had forgotten to LOVE back his own bride..
The pain of loss, had long left him,
the affliction of repentance now plagued him..
He had lost his chance, and also his pride,
for he had not truly treated her like his bride..

Proposing out of boredom

That's it!!! I am bored.So i decide to do what I think I do best.Come up with cheesy lines.For the reader: "Please proceed at your own risk !! No derogatory comments will be entertained".
THREE different proposals...!
1)The cliched one: "When I look at you and the person that you are, I always realise that you are meant to be the "One" for me. You make my life perfect and I intend to be the same and do the same for you all your life.Darling,will you marry me ?"
Ok. .. I know that's very very very mundane and stereotyped.I will try to come up with something better and a little original.
2)On my knees holding the hand of the girl very softly and looking up to her,in front of tons of acquaintances of course - " Over the course of our friendship and relationship, I have messed up stuff many times and I don't even have a count of how many times you let it go and still stood by me to keep what is between us going.I don't promise you that I wont mess up anymore,not because I don't want to stop messing but because I can't make a promise I am not sure I can keep.I promise though that I will try and try sincerely.Often you have helped me face what ever difficulty came in my path and you have acted like the "Man" in my life.I could go on and on for why I need you in my life and would not have one word to say about why you would need me.No not because,I cannot give you many things, I can, but because I will give you everything and try giving you more than that.Why ? because I love myself for the fact that someone like you loves me and I would never want to hate myself. I know I am not perfect for you,nor do i believe that you are perfect for me,but I know after a life spent together, the world will say we were perfect for each other.Will you spend your whole life with me ? "
Hmmm.. ok.. that lacked a punch and t lost its intensity..I dont think I would opt for something like this while proposing.
Let me give it one last shot...
3) "You know there have been times in the past when I have been desolate, and scarred.I fought through those times to reach a place in life where I had eliminated many people from my life and found a new friend in lonliness..I had found my own self.From then on I have made many friends and my life has turned towards a beautiful road and the ride has been smooth and will god willing stay smooth.But all along I still retained that entity as I found him to be the best companion I could ask for.A person who knew every single shred of me,who understood everything about and with in me..I loved him,I loved myself and I was happy.Then I met you.You don't understand me as well as he does,nor do you know me as well as he does,but still for a reason I don't know I want you to replace "HIM".I want to come to you instead of him,when I am in that place again.I want to choose you over him for help,when I am in need of something.I want to trust you more than I would ever trust him.I want you to be the one who replaces me for him and him for me.I want you to be the reason behind my every smile,success and endeavour.I want you to be my real reeason for living this life.I love you and i cant live without loving you and every single thing in you.Mishti,You are the reason I want to feel my heart again...will you take my life for your eternity and make it worth being called one ?"
Okay i screwed it up .. I guess i can't do even this when i am bored..jeez...!

This is me...Why did you not love me..?

I had watched you smile,and cuddle with me,
you had held me close, purged the sorrow in me.
I had seen you cry,taken your tears away with me,
you had made me a child,disinterred the innocence in me.

Bad times had come and you saw other sides of me,
You liked some,and prayed for some to leave me
There you were, by the side of me,
changing so many things in me.

Who you were,never concerned me,
but you seemed unhappy,with what is me.
This is me,I said,the real me
the one I always want to be,every part of me.

I would never let you get hurt because of me,
I could never live with that agony.
But you walked away leaving me,
for you did not like being without changing me.

I always thought you had said you loved me,
then why was it that you tried changing me.
I thought you would understand by changing me,
You would not have the one who loved you,the real me.

Why could you not love the bad in me ?
when you fell head over heels for the good in me ?
My tears have dried,alone lies the real me,
You knew I had tried,why didn't you try to stay with me ?

This is me..
This is who I will always be..
That was you...
That is who I always wanted you to be..
But I always wanted YOU to be with ............
ME !

Zinda kaise rahoon....

ek ghutan si reh gayi bas saansoon mein..
ek anjaani si kami mehsoos ho rahi hai armaanoon mein...
jeene ke liye tamanaaooon ki zaroorat hai magar ...
jeene ki tamanaa hi nahi rehguzar dil ki panahoon mein..

kai khwahishein puri hui hain meri..
ek iltija abhi tak namanzoor reh gayi..
hasne ke liye chand haseen lamhe hote hain kafi magar
hasne ki wo ek fariyaad hi ko ansuna kar diya hai usne..

tere saath guzar karne ki chah pali thi dil mein..
tere daman ko thamke safar tai karna tha mujhko..
paon mein kai kaantooon ke dard ko jhela bhi tha humnein..
Ek chale ne dil ko hi nasoor bana diya ulfat ka,kya karein...

ab mai khayaloon ki ek zindagi guzarta hoon..
jeene ke dard ko sehne ke liye khud ko nashe mein utaarta hoon..
nashe mein bhi saha nahi jaata to ek kavita rachata hoon..
wo bhi nahi sahlati agar to,andhere mein khud ki ek tasveer jalata hoon..

kai pehloo jeevan ke main bhulana chahta hoon..
un pehluon ka dard ragoon me bas gaya hai,kya karoon
ragoon mein bahta hua rakht hi zinda rakha hai mujhko..
ragoon ko kat nasoor ko alag karoon to zinda kaise rahoon...