Friday, June 20, 2008

My father's letter to my brother and me....

Dear Kachri,

Time off from my work ; thought of tickling you a bit! First things first - did you receive my mail on personality development ? Let me know.

In the process of growing - mentally & physically - with age, emotional world also grows and finds its expression in certain ways: moments of joy, happiness
and not lacking behind those of grief. Emotional world has many parameters and therefore as many attributes as well, if not more. There is this kind of emotion
among brothers & sisters; between brothers & sisters as also parents and their children. Its intensity between an individual and his/her kith & kins naturally
evolves and , therefore, is not of the same magnitude on a scale. Nothing wrong with that as that is natural.


Above all, there is this very special kind of emotion which - if it finds an expression - causes metamorphosis in an individual's internal world. No body ever plans
for it , but it just manifests itself catching one unawares. That beautiful fleeting moment, that arouses boundless emotional tides, is that of 'LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT'.
Nobody could ever reason it out much less explain it, because it just happens. The communication thru eyes - during that fleeting moment - and both find themselves
on 'cloud 9'. Whatever happens thereafter is not material , but divine intervention makes that marvelous event possible. No reasoning helps; no counseling helps; none
of the sermons help; the defiance to any kind of resistance leads - more often than not - to marriage! How things shape up thereafter, only TIME unfolds the mystery.

Very few fortunate ones experience that kind of divine bliss. For others it is a routine matter - lot of reasoning & planning to find the match - and yet only TIME
unfolds the hidden mystery.

You kids have added a third dimension to this !! That is, trying to look out for one & then reason out mutually whether the prospective bride/bridegroom is worth the
effort & decision!!! Kiddu, in my opinion this is neither arithmetic nor geometric mean of the two approaches detailed in the preceding text.

There are certain fundamental laws of nature that every one of us need to keep in mind - when it comes to inter-personnel relationships - & one of the AXIOMS is that,,

AXIOM 1:

YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND OTHER PERSON YOUR WHOLE LIFETIME TO PRE JUDGE/DECIDE FOR REST OF THE LIFE! YOU CAN BEST DEVISE DYNAMICALLY WAYS & MEANS FOR A HAPPY PEACEFUL & JOYOUS LIFE TOGETHER!

I have always held that anybody who makes a statement," I know him" , makes it out of ignorance if not arrogance. All thru my life I have understood that I do not know myself
because I am sometimes amazed/disturbed/pained/ saddened by my thought process within ; my acts & deeds in the external world, notwithstanding. The point I am trying to make is that even if - lets say - I have done no harm to anyone till date is no guarantee that I shall not do that in future (!!) because base instincts never die out & that I have not been able to erase at least a few of them is my singular failure. Therefore, if your Mom says that she KNOWS ME I smile within myself for the reason that she could not have known me when I am ignorant & unsure of myself , even at 58 yrs of my age.

AXIOM 2:

LIFE IS SIMPLE KEEP IT THAT WAY !

Life evolves and in the process of doing so it throws up many surprises; brings forth moments of joy & grief. Not all that happens in one's life can be reasoned out. In my opinion, Causation is not the all defining parameter of the dynamics of life. There is something beyond & above all that which we are unable to fathom. Therefore, life cannot be planned in its totality in advance. If I try to do that, I make LIFE COMPLICATED, but LIFE IS SIMPLE!!!

AXIOM 3:

BEING CAREFUL IS NOT BEING APPREHENSIVE!

No matter how big a business, a business concern and/or anything that comes to be a part of my life; whatever infrastructure I may devise scientifically for it to succeed
I should not loose sight of the fact that in the end it is the mutual faith & trust that shall oil the bearings of the gigantic wheels of the chariot of my life that encompasses
my endeavours too. Therefore, I always need to start with implicit trust & faith in all that I have and all those who cohabit with me. Watchful may be the word , not
apprehensive for, if I am latter I shall only die every moment and not live a single moment.

To take a pause here, I would think that if you go thru the text seriously it may help !!!!

Love & regards.

papa

3 comments:

Matangi Mawley said...

hey.. tht was a beautiful letter.. the axioms were gr8! so thoughtful n so responsible!

Sameera Ansari said...

That was so uplifting!You both are lucky to have such a Papa and he now has a fan of him for life :)

Anonymous said...

the poetic/philosophical vein runs in the family ;-)

Tht was a beautiful, heartfelt letter..ur really lucky to have a father like him..it really gave me an insight into the matter..

y did he write it to u?? were u battling personal problems then?