Sunday, September 14, 2008

Awards


First for some  news ;)
I have been showered upon awards... :D 
First two from my new found Di(cess)...
1)The Million Dollar Friend award
2)The Blogroll Award




 here are the awards i received from gauri mathur :
1) Brillante Weblog Premio-2008
2)Lifetime blogger friend



Thanks the two of you for your appreciation.. I will soon be awarding them to others ... next post ... hard decision..(considering all blogs on my blogroll are a class apart)  :)
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I will love you...Come what may...

I wrote this poem on 14jan 2003... one of my earlier works... probably why nothing dark in it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
I shall be there for you,forever and ever to come
To be with you always,to be not two but one
walk with you through lanes ahead dark and sly,
be with you through all your sorrows and strife.

We shall show the world,the strength that lies,
deep beneath our feelings for each other,in our eyes.
with the essence of each other,shall we live apart for a while,
but together in our hearts beating in unison,in our smile.

I have seen a life out there,free from care
filled with joys and happiness,and a lot to spare,
For long i have prayed,with only one thought in my mind,
A thought very divine,a thought "thou art mine".

With the fear of the world our steps shall not quiver,
We shall fall on each other through horror and rise,not shiver.
Aboard the ship of hardships shall we make a world,
A world Utopian,replete with love,OUR WORLD.

there is a promise,my love,I make,far away though we stay
My love, for you shall be always there,come what may.
For,O! My love!,What the wall of thorns to cross,
If the mere touch of thy lay across.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Maybe that night...

This is a translation of a Hindi poem I wrote in May 2004 ...


Dusk was approaching the city covered by lights,

there was commotion all around, hustle in someone's mind.

Shadows cast by dark clouds encroached upon the sunlight,

as he kept walking on a path that had been nothing but unkind.


An ordinary man, he traveled on the less often traveled paths,

but his destination was in someone's arms, his love.

He took a detour towards darkness,to face the path's wrath,

as he could sense her fragrance from that road,feel her love.


Blinded in love,darkness tried but invain to be an impediment,

only to find his march getting swifter, and his breath quicker.

Then lightning struck, halting his life long journey in a moment,

It was not fear but the sight of a tear,the momentary glimpse of her.


The moon was now out in the sky, clouds had been banished from there,

the only noise that could be heard was of the silence that lay around.

there was a slight breeze,as their breath caused ripples in the air,

Frigid weather,the only warmth they got was from the heated ground ..


there was only one heart beating maybe,between the two bodies,

faith was flowing between them,the depth seen in their eyess.

filling each other in love's embrace, they sat beneath the trees,

with a haggard body,she placed his head gently on her thighs.


She played with his hair,talking not in words but mischievous signs,

hiding the plethora of thorns that lay pierced in her,under a smile.

He had always known her plight,knew she had endured great pains,

but he kept mum, to make the mesmerizing moment last for a while.


The last expression on their face was that of a contended smile,

as their heartbeats lowered becoming heavier in every breath.

I know not for sure, maybe some tears were shed that day,

maybe those few moments turned eternal,filling life's dearth.

maybe the hearts had succumbed that day,stopped beating,

maybe two souls had joined as one and left the world that night.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kavita~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shayad us raat ko....



Din ke teesre pehar ka anth tha, roshini se dhake us shehar mein,

charoon aur chahel pehal thi,shor macha tha kisi ke mann mein

aaftab chup raha tha,ghane baadaloon ki chaon mein

Ek umr lamba safar tai kar raha tha wo,nirdayi rahoon pe.

ek samanya rahi hi tha magar asaamanya raahoon pe,

manzil uski alag thi,door kisi ki baahoon mein.

Ek mod mud gaya vo,chal pada andhere ki oor,

Kareeb kahin thi wo, hawa ki lehron mein ehsaas tha uska.

Andhera ghana tha,par kab gavara thi roshni us ulfat ke andhe ko,

Uski dhadkannein badh rahi thi,kadamoon mein furti bhar rahi thi.

Achanak bijli kadki,aur uski dhadkan jaise tham si gayi,

vo saamne khadi thi uske,aankhoon mein nami bhi thi

mahtaab ab benakaab ho raha tha,shor bhi jaise sirf sannate ka tha,

pavan to beh rahi thi magar,sirf unke saansoon mein.


Ek dil dhadak raha tha,shayad do jismoon ke beech,

Ek vishwas beh raha tha,un aankhoon ke beech.

baith gaye pedon ke neeche vo,pyaar ki baahoon mein,

thaka hua tha wo,aur let gaya tha uski goad mein.

Khel rahi thi uske baalon se,aur baatein kar rahi thi nat khat isshaaroon se,

hasi thi khili hui thi chehre pe,kai chube hue kaante chupaye the usne aanchal mein.

Wo jaanta tha ki dard tha, chupa hua uske dil mein,

par kuch na kehna chahta tha wo,anoothe us ek pal mein.

Ek halki si muskaan aane lagi unke hoonthoon pe,dhadkanein ab bhaari hone lagi thi,

kuch ashq vida hue the shayad us raat ko,kuch lamhe ek sadi bane the shayad us raat ko,

dhadkanein duniya ke sitamoon ke bhaar tale dab gayi thi shayad us raat ko,

do roohein ek ho chod chali thi sansaar, shayad us raat ko...





Thursday, September 04, 2008

How do I stay alive???

All that's left of my heart beat is only a throttled breath,
An unknown inadequacy in my desires has taken birth..
With the fuel of aspirations,on life's path does man ride,
but the yearning to live itself seems to be beyond my heart's stride..

It's not been a wretched life,many wishes have been rendered,
but a prayer from within my heart always remained unanswered..
To make one smile it takes only a few beautiful moments of his life,
alas! the prayer of a smile was dismissed by the guardian of my life..

I had nurtured a dream in my heart,of us never being apart,
of holding your hand and walking undeterred on eternity's path..
We had trudged on many thorns too,faced many harsh weather,
But a sore spot on my own heart turned into our bond's cancer..

Day dreams, illusions and hallucinations fill the life i now lead,
To bear the pain of breathing,i get high on liqueur, pot and weed ...
If all my anesthetic attempts fail to relieve me, a poem for you I create,
When all fails as a last resort a picture of self in darkness, I incinerate

There are many patches of my life, to forget them forever i yearn,
The pain has filled in my veins, become a poison i cannot discern.
It's the blood flowing through the same veins that keeps me alive,
To be free from pain i need to cut my veins open,but then,
How do I stay alive???

This post is a transliteration of an original piece i wrote in hindi which is also published on this blog..

Zinda kaise rahoon
ek ghutan si reh gayi bas saansoon mein..
ek anjaani si kami mehsoos ho rahi hai armaanoon mein...
jeene ke liye tamanaaooon ki zaroorat hai magar ...
jeene ki tamanaa hi nahi rehguzar dil ki panahoon mein..

kai khwahishein puri hui hain meri..
ek iltija abhi tak namanzoor reh gayi..
hasne ke liye chand haseen lamhe hote hain kafi magar
hasne ki wo ek fariyaad hi ko ansuna kar diya hai usne..

tere saath guzar karne ki chah pali thi dil mein..
tere daman ko thamke safar tai karna tha mujhko..
paon mein kai kaantooon ke dard ko jhela bhi tha humnein..
Ek chale ne dil ko hi nasoor bana diya ulfat ka,kya karein...

ab mai khayaloon ki ek zindagi guzarta hoon..
jeene ke dard ko sehne ke liye khud ko nashe mein utaarta hoon..
nashe mein bhi saha nahi jaata to ek kavita rachata hoon..
wo bhi nahi sahlati agar to,andhere mein khud ki ek tasveer jalata hoon..

kai pehloo jeevan ke main bhulana chahta hoon..
un pehluon ka dard ragoon me bas gaya hai,kya karoon
ragoon mein bahta hua rakht hi zinda rakha hai mujhko..
ragoon ko kat nasoor ko alag karoon to zinda kaise rahoon...

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The devil and Man's future

Also on Wordpress

A foul quiet shattered as the breeze filled the midnight with an eerie howl,
Both quiet and howl were deafening ,the land lay devoid of any soul.
The moon was at its full in the sky,it's light immaculate milky white,

Land bereft of it by such clouds,whose darkness was envied by the night.
Suddenly rose a pandemonium piercing the night,from a graveyard nearby,
His curiosity had landed him at the devils lair,else he would have passed by.
He was a man, one of the many few who had survived, quivering with fright,
As the tombstone he sat on,addressed him with a laugh filled with sadistic delight.

"Get up! Get up! You! You must be crazy,else how could you dare,
to trespass boldly into my territory,take rest in the Devil's own lair ?"
"For eons I slept ignoring thee but I am awake,and it's your fault,
Your own actions led to it, sealing your destiny,placing your fate in my vault."
"Your sins proofs have been recorded,your soul is now arraigned,
It's no use trying to defend your case,You deserve to be detained.
But I am bound by some rules of nature,I shall show you some mercy,
I give you a chance to convince me,why I should let you go,condone thee."

Man sought for his ego,thought with it he would speak loud and clear,
But all it fetched him was trembling feet, and words mumbling out of fear.
His hands unintentionally reached out for faith,reaching out for his cross,
In an instant his mind cleared,he spoke without fear of his life's loss.
"I have known no fear,have always endured all degrees of pain,
I have been a sinner of nature,but my sins were not of no avail,not invain."

"It's nature's law,there's always something to loose for something to gain,
I destroyed many, but you cannot condone that in return i too have been slain."
"The shift in balance of nature is by me,a consequence of my desires,my errands,
I have robbed many life forms of their homes,I have been the only brigand."

"The truth of my existence you cannot deny,You will it or not,I shall not die,
I have always been punished by him and we are his creations,both you and I."
"I have been a kaleidoscope of sorts and while I have sinned,have also realised it,
I have redeemed my actions, tried to mend things,even if i had to pay a price for it."

"I am a result of what i made myself, I am the creation of my own actions,
You may curse me, But tell me have i ever blamed God for my own destruction?"
I speak to you today boldly with conviction,One of a many few men who are alive,
no matter what the impediments thrust upon me,to survive i shall unfailingly strive"

The devil appeared as man's own reflection,the encounter a creation of his own introspection,
A regular exercise in the history of mankind,though he was unaware of it's participation.
He geared up for what lay in front his future,not dark,though not very bright,
Forgetting to leave behind a mention of the exercise,like his ancestors, in the night...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope that man for once keeps in his memory the hardships he has endured and come out of many times.He keeps it in his memory to ensure he does not again commit the same crimes..
-Descrying the Shadows





Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Indian Education System

I have moved to wordpress please click on the link below...

http://descryingtheshadows.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/the-indian-education-system/

Thursday, August 21, 2008

you complete me

Every moment that passes by,
Holds your picture in my eyes..
The thought of you does not go away,
I love you, in my heart you stay…

O! my love , it was an Utopian life,
Free from discontentment and strife..
I still feel the soothing sight of your smile,
Feeling lost in paradise for a while..

I wonder, how you made me a child,
Brought out the mischief,let me go wild..
I had transcended many worlds with you,
Holding your hand, being replete with you..

Now it is me, and I am still standing by,
You are gone, have become an angel in the sky..
I know my sorrow still makes you cry,
It's still raining,your tears haven't gone dry..

I shall be happy,not let my promise break,
Find happiness, another bond I shall make..
But the inside of me shall never be replete,
Without you, my life's portrait shall never be complete..

Monday, August 18, 2008

The horrifying reality of Kashmir....!

Read this only and only if you can comprehend an India which is communal not by constitution, but by action.Read this if you have it in you take in the truth.Read this if you can leave aside idealistic thoughts and feel the pain of a people who lost their identity,else don't..it's a request.

The Amarnath Holy Cave

(Will Bholenath unite Hindus to uphold Indian Integrity!!)


“J&K on the edge”. “Jammu on the boil”. “ Paradise is burning”. “Who can stop this mayhem ?”. “Separatists on the rise in the valley”. “Situation back to 1989”…. . These are some of the responses of the visual media that tried to analyze the reasons that led to the agitation in Jammu and Kashmir region of the J&K state.

The visual media – in all their ignorance- swore by the ‘Kashmeriat’ and the ‘secular model’ of Kashmir (read Muslims); Kashmir was described as an epitome of secularism to be emulated by each and every individual and state of India.

The central government watched the fun for days end on and then came up with the age old escapism of ‘all party meet’ on the issue that had seen Hindus, for once, joining hands on an issue that threatened their very basic existence in the state; having gone through the trauma of the forced exodus of Kashmiri Pandits (KPs) from Kashmir valley and the Srinagar city. Ironically, not many of the so called educated and well informed strata of the Indian society (including the media) are aware of it even today!!! This ignorance was manifest – for a discerning audience- on the visual media.

The magnificent yet sick diversion was reduction of the problem to a ‘Law and Order’ situation and ‘communal forces (read Hindus)’ raising their head. The self defined and the self proclaimed ‘Hindu’ parties/sangathanas were appealed to by the self styled ‘secular’ parties to show restrain thereby meaning to rope in and suppress the peoples’ movement so that the ‘powers that be’ remain comfortable, while the very basis of the existence of the Union of India was being questioned.

The Mass Ignorance:

“Separatists on the rise in the valley”. “Situation back to 1989”…. These kind of responses are indicators to the ignorance of the media personnel who are to, by quirk of destiny and to the curse of our Motherland- communicate to the people of India and world outside the events in the J&K state and reasons thereof. Therefore a very brief introduction to the issue is in order.

§ Kashmiri Muslim community was never secular minded. This is clear from the fact that when Late Sri Sheikh Abdullah launched his political outfit, to fight what he termed as atrocities by the Maharaja on the people of the state, he named it Muslim Conference. The Maharaja ruled J&K state that had people of nearly all religions in it. Later on he was to change it to National Conference, on the advice of the then Indian National Congress Leaders.

§ Kashmiri Muslims’ political aspirations never saw them as a part of the Indian Union; they were always traitors to its cause. This is because the Late Sheikh Abdullah (even while he ruled the state) led a separatist movement and its goal was to cede J&K state from the Indian Union.

§ The year 1975 can be considered as a watershed in the Kashmir politics. The separatist sentiment, here-on, saw an organized effort well supported by the government agencies. The state’s Chief Minister was Late Sheikh Abdullah. Openly, his lieutenants used to tell Muslims that this was not the time for agitating and seeking of jobs, but to get organized for achieving the ultimate aim of Azadi; while the Government of India (GOI) remained a silent spectator!! For Secular Reasons???

The Seed becomes a Baniyan Tree:

The concerted efforts, over the years, of the entire state machinery culminated in the upsurge of the insurgents in Jan’90 with open threats yelled out to the KPs by the state-of-the art gun wielding insurgents during their processions and public gatherings, from the Mosques to either embrace Islam or face slaughter. This was preceded by the hijack drama of the daughter of Mufti Md. Sayeed, the then Home Minister of India. Ms Mehbooba Mufti is now the leader of Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) that until recently ruled the state in coalition with the Congress. The streets of the Kashmir region were filled with the vociferous and uninhibited demands for Azadi.

While the self styled secular forces (read central government too) called this naked aggression against the State of India as the handiwork of misguided youth, and one of the important reason meted out for the outburst was “KPs had grabbed all the state jobs”; the insurgents availed of this chaos in the Indian political leadership to fully entrench themselves-with all the ammunitions at their command- in all the nooks and corners of the Kashmir region. Leaders were kept busy with obtaining the release of Ms Mehbooba Mufti. The popular perception, though, was that the Home Minister himself had got his daughter kidnapped to enable the insurgents to comfortably organize their future onslaughts.

Azadi obtained in 1990:

Kasmiri Muslims used to openly warn the KPs that one day they will throw the KPs out of the region and the GOI would not be of any help to them. The other connotation of Azadi was an Islamic state (at least a region) where no other religious group would have any meaningful existence. So, their representative in the GOI, the very Home Minister along with a Prime Minister (who was more concerned about proving his secular credentials because he was in power with the support of a so called Hindu- read communal- party) Sri V P Singh, through their agent in the Governor of J&K state, Sri Jagmohan, planned the unprecedented exodus of the KPs from the Kashmir region of the J&K state. That most unfortunate date was 19th Jan’90. It was not unfortunate just because a sinister conspiracy had been hatched against the KPs, but also that the integrity of India had been compromised. Thus an Islamic region was carved out in a ‘secular’ India by the self proclaimed secular parties.

The then Governor of J&K state, Sri Jagmohan, did not press into action the state machinery & defense personnel to safeguard the KPs against the threats of the insurgents, but mobilized it to arrange their exodus!! The Kashmiri Muslims were to acknowledge this agreement later on and its execution by the GOI. They would taunt KPs about their nationalism and the Indian army. The proof of this sinister conspiracy lies, may be, in the following statement:

When Sri V P Singh was told that the KPs have been forced to flee the Kashmir region, the Prime Minister of India replied,” WHO ARE KASHMIRI PANDITS ?”

In nearly two decades since 1989, the exodus of KPs is the only political event that gave the Muslims de-facto Azadi; thereafter it has been only gun running and extracting millions of rupees from the Indian tax payer to amass wealth that was to change the face of Srinagar city and Kashmir region, and concomitantly give rise to the organized prostitution never thought of in Kashmir in saner times. During this time, jobs within the state dried up for the KPs and the whole community that once boasted of being a well to do middle class was transformed into a community of slum dwellers!! Hardly any Prime Minister of India visited those slums. The conspiracy against the KPs was so obvious that nobody in the government talked of rehabilitating KPs in Kashmir region while on the contrary plans were being flouted to settle KPs in concrete slums in and around Jammu city. Secularism was at its strenuous best because Kashmir had been Islamized and integrity of India had been compromised.

Therefore the vested interests – be they ‘secular’ or ‘communal’- claimed from the roof tops that peace had returned to the Valley and prosperity was on the rise now that the tourists had started pouring in once again. NOBODY TALKED OF KASHMIRI PANDITS!! This was the Kashmeriat they talked of; the secular character of Muslim they talked of; the secular credentials of the government they talked of.

Threat to Azadi!

“Everything was going on smoothly”; “elections were to be conducted yet again”; “democratic forces had gained an upper hand over the separatists”; “misguided youth was joining back the mainstream”. Claims! Claims!! & Claims!!! All over and over again; the Muslims sure were laughing all the while at their apologists. Yes of course, the KPs had been consigned to the dustbin of the Indian & the J&K history. They never mattered.

What happened suddenly (once again??)!! Again a sudden (?) eruption!! Again slogans of Azadi!! Why! Why! Why!! Again ‘misguided youth’ from nowhere!! “Again 1989” Tragedy or a Farce!! Wake up Media! Wake up!! Try to know & the understand history.

What is this Amarnath Shrine Board? Nobody ever heard of it before!! Who brought it into prominence??

“We are told there is this land row!! We are told that the J&K government passed a G.O. for temporary allocation of 100 acres of land to the Amarnath Shrine Board during the Amarnath yatra period only to be rescinded a few days later because the coalition partner withdrew support after being the party to the allocation decision. The coalition partner stated that they had done whatever they had because the government’s decision was against popular (read separatist) interest. These facts have not been denied by any political party in the state.”

The questions that arise are: 1) why should there be protest by Kashmiri Muslims for temporary allocation of land for a purpose?, 2) why land in Kashmir cannot be allocated for Hindus of Jammu to perform their religious activities?, and 3) is Jammu not part of the J&K state?

The Muslims and their political supporters (read all parties in Kashmir) have openly said that they have been facilitating this Amarnath yatra since decades so where is the need for some other body to take over and run the show. Remember one thing: the Muslim is not fighting because he sees a threat to his personal economy.

Muslims very well understand that Jammu is a part of the J&K state and therefore also understand that Article 370 is applicable to entire state. Under that Article only an outsider from the state cannot be given land, but the Hindus of Jammu are not outsiders!!

The singular reason is: that Muslims and their supporters see in this step an attempt by the government to de- Islamize Kashmir; to enable Hindus to get a foothold in Kashmir and this goes against the content of their de-facto Azadi and therefore there is intolerance to it. This was supported by their leaders (so called mainstream, hardliners/ doves etc.) when they stated that Muslims feared that allocation of land would change demography of Kashmir! Since when did land allocation to natives of a state change its demography!! The self proclaimed hardliners leader Sri Gilani is on record having said that the KPs would not be allowed to resettle in Kashmir and that they would not be tolerated. O! GOI O! Secular Forces! YOU DID NOT HEAR THAT!! Does the Constitution of India allow this kind of anti-national statement; does it allow treason (the Muslims) to prosper and nationalism (the Hindus/ KPs) to be crushed??

The Muslim Mind:

The disinformation game had been going on for more than a decade, post eruption of insurgency in J&K state, regarding the situation in Kashmir and the psyche of Kashmiri Muslims. The Muslims had a conscience role in all that, so everything was going as per their plan. The Hindus all over fell for this propaganda. All the efforts by the media to paint a ROSY picture of Kashmir and its Muslims, at the behest of their masters, were punctured by the pampered children (the Muslims) in no time. It was like a thunderous lightning that made its point with speed greater than that of light before their apologists could grasp the EVENT.

The Kashmiri Muslim knows how to bleed Indian nation and blackmail it from time to time. Muslims have always succeeded in extracting their pound of flesh from the GOI. They have fully utilized this ‘secular’ sentiment which they know is more for political gains. In 1990, GOI gave them a full, well fed goat to feast on (Islamic region) and here were some ignorant people trying to start undoing that! How dare!! Therefore, not an inch of land was to be parted with. Kashmiri Muslims know which side of the bread is buttered and therefore they will never allow their interests to be harmed. Hindus are welcome as tourists and not as residents. This is the political/social/economical/religious mindset of a Muslim. It is this mindset that has to taken on if Indian integrity is to survive.

The Hindu Response:

The Hindus, for once, responded appropriately and in time to the obnoxious demand of Kashmiri Muslims and their leadership. They have given Bandh calls that have been spontaneously responded to by the people; the Hindus were never seen so much agitated collectively since 1947 and this time around the reason is the very strong feeling of step-motherly treatment by the government to people who always stood for Indian cause. The Hindus of Jammu have not forgotten the forced exodus of KPs from the Valley; have not forgotten the apathy of the state and the GOI towards KPs. The Hindus of Jammu and the KPs are bound to resist the nefarious designs of the Muslims with an aim to succeed against them and reclaim the right of Hindus over Kashmir. Ms Mehbooba Mufti who until recently was part of an elected government had the audacity to say that the whole problem is due to Hindus in 2 and a half districts of J&K state. This statement of hers is proof enough of who does she, her father and PDP represent. They certainly do not represent Indian interests and yet are being touted by the vested interests as Indians. The issue here is whether in India Indian or Pakistani opinion should prevail? This is fundamental to the dispute. This is a fight between National and anti-National forces. The anti-National forces have supporters all over the country in various manifestations including the government agencies, so the Nationalist forces are up against a situation where the Nation is under sieze.

The Media Response to Hindu Agitation:

The media did not telecast for a long time the events in Jammu related to the land row, unless a protest was lodged and the media started responding, laboriously though. It was quick to point out how communal forces (Hindu supporters) were fuelling the agitation turning a blind eye to the fact that the Hindu masses (children / women/old/young) were crossing rivers like Tawi & Chenab to reach Jammu by defying curfew regulations. Media and the self proclaimed secular forces need to understand that Amarnath Cave Temple (Shrine) is not worshipped by Hindus because ‘communal forces’ are giving such a call. Hindus want to organize its own religious functions and that there is nothing communal about it.

Indian Flags are openly burnt everyday in Kashmir; Pakistani flags are openly hoisted in Kashmir; this all one sees in the background of the tamasha that Visual media do on the screen; the media do not show all this by directly focusing the camera on the anti-India event, but the Muslims strain hard to bring their activity under focus.

Instead of labeling the Hindu response to nefarious designs of Muslims as communal, the media need to ask the self proclaimed ‘secularists’ in the government & elsewhere as to why no action is taken on the spot by the security forces for the acts like burning of Indian Tri Colour? In any country in the world the person will be straight away shot dead or hanged in a few days time. The media need to ask why Mr. Guru is still not being hanged, instead of calling Hindu response as communal.

The media and the ‘secular forces’ need to understand the following:

If J&K state is an integral part of India then whatever has been happening in Kashmir for decades now cannot be tolerated.

Was It The Innocence?

The Hindus have united and the prayer is that they remain united. The fight against the anti-national elements is long and arduous, as they are supported by powerful people within and without our Union. Shiv Shankar Bholenath sure will impart all the strengths to its devotees to rescue its land from the usurpers and keep Indian integrity intact. We, the real Hindus, need beware of unscrupulous netas and others of their ilk.

For all that has happened till now and may happen hereafter, a basic question comes to my mind:

Is Ms Mehbooba Mufti so naïve as to first allow her party to be signatory to the decision and then retract on the count of peoples’ sentiment? PDP leader sure knows the pulse of her separatists – the Muslims- and therefore cannot feign ignorance on that count. Certainly she cannot claim innocence in the matter. She and her party is a willing political face of what essentially is rabidly communal, murderous and inhuman and anti Indian movement; GOI has been more than willing and enduring partner.

Therefore, Ms. Mufti, your game plan was to give a push to the separatist movement and it was easy for you because you were party to the then government of J&K state. If one was to analyze the role of Sri Mufti Mohd. Sayeed as Home Minister Of India and his frequent visits to the Muslim populated Jammu region of J&K state during the peak of insurgency & his absolute silence on the plight of the KPs and combine it with your nefarious role now then the role of PDP in the insurgency becomes quite clear. But you are safe Ms. Mufti because you are a Muslim and therefore you can be a traitor and yet get cover under secularism.

Certainly you and your supporters must have gathered funds in mind boggling figures helped more vigorously by the GOI and the ‘secular’ forces. You should have stored huge quantities of grains & other materials to sustain your secessionist movement and if you fall short of a resource the GOI will ensure that the Indian Army instead of fighting the secessionist forces till the end ensures free supply to your cadres because ‘secularism’ is to be upheld.

You thought you chose the right moment because political environment in Pakistan is changing and your supporters in there are firmly saddled in the seats of power. Ms. Mufti, my suggestion to you is that you need not go that far to Pakistan to achieve your goals; the GOI is right close by. Pakistan may not help you in achieving secession as much as the GOI and ‘secular’ forces will and in a shorter time.

The Kashmiri Muslims have always successfully fooled the Indian leadership; you know that Ms. Mufti & Late Sheikh Abdullah was master craftsman at that. You are now trying to do that, but Ms. Mufti times have changed because Hindus have united. Beware!!!


The above article is written by my father, but I stand accountable for everything mentioned in it and it's veracity

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Darkest night falls, humanity's getting lost

I saw the shadows of the day fading ...
and the need for illumination rising,
There was a fear of darkness spreading,
as the darkest night ever threatened of falling...

I had seen uncountable sinners in those shadows...
sins so grave, deserved to be sent to the gallows,
their conscience is still missing,guilt never follows,
what good was it then sealing them up in burrows...

I had fought for the victims, got them relief in kind...
the wounds healed,only to leave painful memories behind,
Some questions remained unanswered in their mind,
had the sinners ever repented the misery they left behind ?

I walk the streets today as the darkest night falls on me..
witnessing the descent of man,fulfilling a wretched destiny,
I still wonder when the dawn will come,how it would be,
when man walks towards the light, revive his humanity..

Friday, August 08, 2008

Order and Beauty

ok ! my patheticattempt at a competition held by visesh @
http://visheshunni.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/order-and-beauty-contest/


One moment led to a Buddha, a Gandhi, an OshO.
Rendering them such power, a nation they could steeR.
Depriving themselves form petty desires,their souls they freeD
Enduring all odds, reached the highest pinnacles with easE.
Reticence not being a virtue, words were their speaR
Austerity being the media,they penetrated all human stratA
Noble in their approach, yet they forced all into deliberatioN.
Dictators and imperialists too felt compelled to pay them heeD.
Baffled by them are many,many try to wear that garB
Enlightenment evades them, as the truth they fail to seE
Alacrity with reticent desires would lead to it's alohA
Ubiquitous are their teachings,waiting to be learned by yoU
Treading on their path will not be easy,it's a very long fighT
Yearning to be enlightened will not do, my friend,you have to trY

My english prof in univ. once told me that there are those who can have a proper order to their thoughts and there are those who can give a poem the lyrical beauty.But it is the really great ones who could achieve both order and beauty in everything they wrote.Now i dont belong to either of the three communities, but what i tried here was essentially to maintain a particular order, a scheme and not let the beauty be disturbed. If you notice all first letters of all lines to gether read ORDER AND BEAUTY... so do the last ones.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Culture & Traditions - our heritage

"We are not responsible for our heritage, but responsible for our actions and what we beget into this world"
How often do we come across people raising hue and cry over "Culture" related issues ? Moral policing is another result of it and somehow i have never been able to figure out how correct the moral police itself is morally. If you come from a conservative family, talking at night over the phone with a person of the opposite gender is a moral issue, and often you are considered to be uncultured and a source of shame to the family name,Jeezus !
Anyways I am not here to talk about, whether a particular society's rules are rational or not,whether we should have the flexibility to make certain sacrifices for the sake of our elders or not,whether we should let other cultures dilute our culture or not,rather,I am here to talk about what really is culture, and as i see it why does one have to bother if someone else follows or upholds my/his culture or not.I should warn you that it's going to be a long and boring discourse..proceed at your own discretion..
Lets see.. How is culture defined ? As attitudes and behavior, tastes in art and manners characteristic of a particular social group.So lets be clear on this and keep other features like religion,ethics and morality out of it.The problem with most educated and cultured people is that they are incapable of distinguishing between them and thus when they make irrational demands ,in my court of law,they are fully culpable. I am an individual and i would like everyone I come in contact with to respect that about me and also consider me and my priorities,tastes,likes and dislikes as important and as significant as their own,and not being a hypocrite I will return the favor.
Now this is a very "Hard to digest" kind of a demand I know and that's why we have boundaries in this world, and that is why came into existence the phenomenon we have christened as CULTURE.I cannot stand the fact that you live your life so differently from my own,so I will work to create a conglomeration of "like minded people" rather people whose minds I like and make you the odd one out. I will do this and use the garb of Culture so that I may not be charged with discrimination,rather have you charged as a source of nuisance ! There however was one problem, the conglomerations were growing in size day by day and patterns were emerging,which were mostly similar and had some differences in them,so what did i do ? I made a society, decentralised MY culture. Brilliant ! No wonder man is the greatest creation of God.
Fine now I have my societies with their cultures and I am happy but thanks to my luck,I face another obstacle and what is it this time ??? Symbiosis.
I realise that I cannot have a life full of best available comforts until unless i associate with the very people i had initially seperated from.He he.So now my devious mind sets to work,but as they say,"No matter how strong you get,there will always be a harsher test",well I could not overcome it,so I concede and allow a few changes to creep into my culture.Further symbiosis finda an ally in scientific progress and later the very famous "Generation gap",which is basically a change in the socio-economic conditions of that area.
Through out my motivation has been purely my vanity and avarice, it has been ME all along.I remember this friend of mine,Neha,who once pointed out that when in school she was taught that we always write God with a capital 'g',and that after having been in this world she realises that there is one other word we always write/start with a capital letter- "I". How very true !Now am I saying that culture was a result of all negative attributes that Man has ?? No . who ever said desire was bad or for that matter greed or pride or ego ??? Excess of them is bad.Fanaticism is a result of excess of these attributes not culture.
The point or message that I want to convey here is that, phenomenon like culture and society originated because people are different and they chose to follow their different cultures and have a seperate identity for themselves.They have always changed and that change is sign of the fact that Man is still alive.While we talk of preserving our culture,I dont protest against it,Do that if you want to,but I protest when you expect others/preach others/compel others to do the same.Why ? Because it is not your f*&^in choice,nor do you have the right.(sry for the profanity)."Good fences make good neighbors",I think most of us would have read that poem.His neighbor always wanted a fence there ..? Why ? because he knows he cannot respect that individuality so he will keep himself away from it.The moment you try to do something to encroach that privacy, you are blowing the conch, and if that war starts, the price you will pay will be the same as during crusades or partition or civil war,though their causes were different.Let people have their boundaries.let them live life according to their tastes,their manners and their attitudes.If they get unreasonable and have a behaviour that is inhuman,they ought to be punished,but untill that line is not crossed I would rather you kept to preserving ypur own attitudes and tastes.
What I have said above is not a solution for the culture problem, rather it is a means of keeping your feet out of shit.It's a big big world and a very uncaring one too.No one cares,thats a fact(by no one I exclude your loved ones),so don't bother.As long as things are humane, be happy and you will be peaceful,else we will have shuddis ,reforms and jihads evrywhere...

Friday, August 01, 2008

... could not give it a title...

Initially I cud not come up with a title but then a friend suggested a title i liked.. so shruti bansal thanks for naming it for me..

Love lasts...Come what may..


A cool breeze was blowing,the night was milky white
clouds were on a break, stars were shining bright.
the curtains fluttered often,breaking the silence of the night,
they lay cuddled under the quilt, having turned off the light..

He held her in his arms, staring deep into her eyes,
she wondered at his act,tried to shy away from his eyes.
she tickled her way out, leaving him with contended sighs,
playing with him, with a child's mischief sparkling in her eyes.

the mischief soon disappeared, as her face filled with pain,
it was their last night together, the thought struck her again..
She cursed herself for it, in her own court she stood arraigned,
she loved him true to her heart, yet was turning into his bane.

she knew he had understood, strongly stood by her decision,
he was responsible for it too, yet she justified his position .
she wanted to see him always smile,have his appellation,
give up her life for his, such was her love's disposition.

it had to be done for her conscience, there was an ethical reason,
their love was true, yet going through with it would lead to a treason.
he had made her believe, their bond could survive all seasons,
she relied on his strength to hold his own, defend their love's bastion.

He saw it all in her eyes, the pain in that moment,
swooped her off her feet,trying to rid her of the torment.
dancing with her still in his arms,as the night grew more silent,
he told her their love would last,even if it became their punishment.

reminded her the code they had made in love for each other
that their life was beautiful because they made it for each other,
their life had joys because they gave them to each other,
that they had a life because they had made it worth living for each other.
even if they had to pay a price for being right,they would pay it together..

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

his bride

a day dawned and went by,
giving way to a lonely night
the stars were up , a crystal clear sky,
with a full moon looking milky white
dew on the grass filled two eyes
depleted with hope, towards the sky
the drops did fall as the ground bore sweat,
with the burden of his grief, the fate he had met
the wind grew moist from the tears in his eyes..
tears in memory of his love, heart and life.
agony caused by the loss of his wife..
She would make his problems disappear in a snap,
find a way out for him, through every cul-de-sac.
She would rejuvenate him,often make him a child,
pamper him, with her love make him go wild..
She gave him a thousand reasons to smile,
with her no agony lasted for more than a while..
Now she was gone,flashes of the past crowded his mind,
how she had been selfless and always very kind..
how he had often not noticed her cry,
instead of having wiped them,he let them dry..
Love her, he did, but also his own pride,
he had forgotten to LOVE back his own bride..
The pain of loss, had long left him,
the affliction of repentance now plagued him..
He had lost his chance, and also his pride,
for he had not truly treated her like his bride..

Monday, July 28, 2008

Proposing out of boredom

That's it!!! I am bored.So i decide to do what I think I do best.Come up with cheesy lines.For the reader: "Please proceed at your own risk !! No derogatory comments will be entertained".
THREE different proposals...!
1)The cliched one: "When I look at you and the person that you are, I always realise that you are meant to be the "One" for me. You make my life perfect and I intend to be the same and do the same for you all your life.Darling,will you marry me ?"
Ok. .. I know that's very very very mundane and stereotyped.I will try to come up with something better and a little original.
2)On my knees holding the hand of the girl very softly and looking up to her,in front of tons of acquaintances of course - " Over the course of our friendship and relationship, I have messed up stuff many times and I don't even have a count of how many times you let it go and still stood by me to keep what is between us going.I don't promise you that I wont mess up anymore,not because I don't want to stop messing but because I can't make a promise I am not sure I can keep.I promise though that I will try and try sincerely.Often you have helped me face what ever difficulty came in my path and you have acted like the "Man" in my life.I could go on and on for why I need you in my life and would not have one word to say about why you would need me.No not because,I cannot give you many things, I can, but because I will give you everything and try giving you more than that.Why ? because I love myself for the fact that someone like you loves me and I would never want to hate myself. I know I am not perfect for you,nor do i believe that you are perfect for me,but I know after a life spent together, the world will say we were perfect for each other.Will you spend your whole life with me ? "
Hmmm.. ok.. that lacked a punch and t lost its intensity..I dont think I would opt for something like this while proposing.
Let me give it one last shot...
3) "You know there have been times in the past when I have been desolate, and scarred.I fought through those times to reach a place in life where I had eliminated many people from my life and found a new friend in lonliness..I had found my own self.From then on I have made many friends and my life has turned towards a beautiful road and the ride has been smooth and will god willing stay smooth.But all along I still retained that entity as I found him to be the best companion I could ask for.A person who knew every single shred of me,who understood everything about and with in me..I loved him,I loved myself and I was happy.Then I met you.You don't understand me as well as he does,nor do you know me as well as he does,but still for a reason I don't know I want you to replace "HIM".I want to come to you instead of him,when I am in that place again.I want to choose you over him for help,when I am in need of something.I want to trust you more than I would ever trust him.I want you to be the one who replaces me for him and him for me.I want you to be the reason behind my every smile,success and endeavour.I want you to be my real reeason for living this life.I love you and i cant live without loving you and every single thing in you.Mishti,You are the reason I want to feel my heart again...will you take my life for your eternity and make it worth being called one ?"
Okay i screwed it up .. I guess i can't do even this when i am bored..jeez...!

Friday, July 25, 2008

This is me...Why did you not love me..?


I had watched you smile,and cuddle with me,
you had held me close, purged the sorrow in me.
I had seen you cry,taken your tears away with me,
you had made me a child,disinterred the innocence in me.

Bad times had come and you saw other sides of me,
You liked some,and prayed for some to leave me
There you were, by the side of me,
changing so many things in me.

Who you were,never concerned me,
but you seemed unhappy,with what is me.
This is me,I said,the real me
the one I always want to be,every part of me.

I would never let you get hurt because of me,
I could never live with that agony.
But you walked away leaving me,
for you did not like being without changing me.

I always thought you had said you loved me,
then why was it that you tried changing me.
I thought you would understand by changing me,
You would not have the one who loved you,the real me.

Why could you not love the bad in me ?
when you fell head over heels for the good in me ?
My tears have dried,alone lies the real me,
You knew I had tried,why didn't you try to stay with me ?

This is me..
This is who I will always be..
That was you...
That is who I always wanted you to be..
But I always wanted YOU to be with ............
ME !



Thursday, July 03, 2008

Zinda kaise rahoon....

ek ghutan si reh gayi bas saansoon mein..
ek anjaani si kami mehsoos ho rahi hai armaanoon mein...
jeene ke liye tamanaaooon ki zaroorat hai magar ...
jeene ki tamanaa hi nahi rehguzar dil ki panahoon mein..

kai khwahishein puri hui hain meri..
ek iltija abhi tak namanzoor reh gayi..
hasne ke liye chand haseen lamhe hote hain kafi magar
hasne ki wo ek fariyaad hi ko ansuna kar diya hai usne..

tere saath guzar karne ki chah pali thi dil mein..
tere daman ko thamke safar tai karna tha mujhko..
paon mein kai kaantooon ke dard ko jhela bhi tha humnein..
Ek chale ne dil ko hi nasoor bana diya ulfat ka,kya karein...

ab mai khayaloon ki ek zindagi guzarta hoon..
jeene ke dard ko sehne ke liye khud ko nashe mein utaarta hoon..
nashe mein bhi saha nahi jaata to ek kavita rachata hoon..
wo bhi nahi sahlati agar to,andhere mein khud ki ek tasveer jalata hoon..

kai pehloo jeevan ke main bhulana chahta hoon..
un pehluon ka dard ragoon me bas gaya hai,kya karoon
ragoon mein bahta hua rakht hi zinda rakha hai mujhko..
ragoon ko kat nasoor ko alag karoon to zinda kaise rahoon...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Eyes--> of expressions and enigma

It takes a mere glance to be enchanted,a mere peek to be fascinated,a mere look to get infatuated,a mere stare to get agitated,a mere wink to get labeled as a ruffian, a mere tear to get comfort,a mere look of defiance to get noticed...and i could go on and on and on and on and on...and on about what we can receive just by twitch of a muscle of our eyes.
Eyes have been every poets object of praise,very lovers object of admiration,every flatterers object of adulation.In fact I myself seem to have eyes as a feature that turn me on(no pun intended).I wonder WHY ???
Maybe because they could convey thoughts,emotions and feelings much before we could form words.Maybe because you can cheat with words but eyes often speak the truth .Maybe because when eyes convey a message we concentrate more on the person,what he/she is going through and judge, instead of,as is the case with words,interpreting them in any way we find grammatically correct.Maybe because eyes enable a better understanding of the person ,maybe because they convey everything in silence letting only the intended recipient know the truth.
What if sound traveled faster than light ????Where would that land our "eyes"??Science maybe able to give the reason .. maybe..
As far as I go.. I dont think I will ever find an answer that will convince me .. But I do know that I will forever search for every desire i have in them,every fear,every joy,every success,every determination,every mischief,every relationship,every moment that will be worth living for in someones eyes... and hope i reach them .. where only they could via their soul...

PS: for certain friends of mine in UPEN... I know your reaction and i hope you know my answer to it ... ;)

Friday, June 20, 2008

My father's letter to my brother and me....

Dear Kachri,

Time off from my work ; thought of tickling you a bit! First things first - did you receive my mail on personality development ? Let me know.

In the process of growing - mentally & physically - with age, emotional world also grows and finds its expression in certain ways: moments of joy, happiness
and not lacking behind those of grief. Emotional world has many parameters and therefore as many attributes as well, if not more. There is this kind of emotion
among brothers & sisters; between brothers & sisters as also parents and their children. Its intensity between an individual and his/her kith & kins naturally
evolves and , therefore, is not of the same magnitude on a scale. Nothing wrong with that as that is natural.


Above all, there is this very special kind of emotion which - if it finds an expression - causes metamorphosis in an individual's internal world. No body ever plans
for it , but it just manifests itself catching one unawares. That beautiful fleeting moment, that arouses boundless emotional tides, is that of 'LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT'.
Nobody could ever reason it out much less explain it, because it just happens. The communication thru eyes - during that fleeting moment - and both find themselves
on 'cloud 9'. Whatever happens thereafter is not material , but divine intervention makes that marvelous event possible. No reasoning helps; no counseling helps; none
of the sermons help; the defiance to any kind of resistance leads - more often than not - to marriage! How things shape up thereafter, only TIME unfolds the mystery.

Very few fortunate ones experience that kind of divine bliss. For others it is a routine matter - lot of reasoning & planning to find the match - and yet only TIME
unfolds the hidden mystery.

You kids have added a third dimension to this !! That is, trying to look out for one & then reason out mutually whether the prospective bride/bridegroom is worth the
effort & decision!!! Kiddu, in my opinion this is neither arithmetic nor geometric mean of the two approaches detailed in the preceding text.

There are certain fundamental laws of nature that every one of us need to keep in mind - when it comes to inter-personnel relationships - & one of the AXIOMS is that,,

AXIOM 1:

YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND OTHER PERSON YOUR WHOLE LIFETIME TO PRE JUDGE/DECIDE FOR REST OF THE LIFE! YOU CAN BEST DEVISE DYNAMICALLY WAYS & MEANS FOR A HAPPY PEACEFUL & JOYOUS LIFE TOGETHER!

I have always held that anybody who makes a statement," I know him" , makes it out of ignorance if not arrogance. All thru my life I have understood that I do not know myself
because I am sometimes amazed/disturbed/pained/ saddened by my thought process within ; my acts & deeds in the external world, notwithstanding. The point I am trying to make is that even if - lets say - I have done no harm to anyone till date is no guarantee that I shall not do that in future (!!) because base instincts never die out & that I have not been able to erase at least a few of them is my singular failure. Therefore, if your Mom says that she KNOWS ME I smile within myself for the reason that she could not have known me when I am ignorant & unsure of myself , even at 58 yrs of my age.

AXIOM 2:

LIFE IS SIMPLE KEEP IT THAT WAY !

Life evolves and in the process of doing so it throws up many surprises; brings forth moments of joy & grief. Not all that happens in one's life can be reasoned out. In my opinion, Causation is not the all defining parameter of the dynamics of life. There is something beyond & above all that which we are unable to fathom. Therefore, life cannot be planned in its totality in advance. If I try to do that, I make LIFE COMPLICATED, but LIFE IS SIMPLE!!!

AXIOM 3:

BEING CAREFUL IS NOT BEING APPREHENSIVE!

No matter how big a business, a business concern and/or anything that comes to be a part of my life; whatever infrastructure I may devise scientifically for it to succeed
I should not loose sight of the fact that in the end it is the mutual faith & trust that shall oil the bearings of the gigantic wheels of the chariot of my life that encompasses
my endeavours too. Therefore, I always need to start with implicit trust & faith in all that I have and all those who cohabit with me. Watchful may be the word , not
apprehensive for, if I am latter I shall only die every moment and not live a single moment.

To take a pause here, I would think that if you go thru the text seriously it may help !!!!

Love & regards.

papa

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Mai.....

main aankhoon ke sahil pe basta hoon..
udaas paani se rubaru hai meri...
mai uske mol ko samajhta hoon..
aisi uske saath yaari hai meri..
tere daaman ko kinare se dur
basane ki chah hai mujhme...
kyunki paani mein jalne ke dard ko
main behttar samajhta hoon.
aana mat mere aashiyaane ke paaas..
tujhe nahin maalum
mai kaise kaise sailaab dabaa rakha hoon;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mai chal raha tha aankheen moond kar...
khwaboon me asmaan ko choomkar..
ek lamhe ne uthe diya ...
zameen pe lake mujhko gira diya..
aankheen khuli to pata chala..
zindagi chali gayi thi rooth kar...

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Trapped !!

I live in a world
governed by reasoning & emotions,
I know not how they synergise,
I can see only corrosion.
For every decision to be made,
in my mind there is commotion,
Whether to trust reason or follow my heart ?
I have neither answers nor notions .

Both seem to be important,
Am often left desolate in ambivalence.
Just when the weight shifts towards one side,
Difference in perception brings back the balance.
I wish sometimes to be a program,
I could decide based on a fixed ordinance,
Decisions would be made quickly,
Dilemmas would have zero tolerance.

They tell me that i am free,
But irony has it that i live in a society.
They tell me how to live life the right way,
Then blame a mishap on destiny.
I wish i could break free and show the world,
That everything in it is a mere parody.
I wish that i could be born free as a simple child,
And then be the sole father of my destiny.

Friday, March 14, 2008

tere hoonthoon ki nami ko apne saath leke,unpe sharbati ehsaas chod jaoonga..
tere badan ki narmi mein simat kar apne saansoon ki garmahat chod jaoonga
teri aankhoon ki gehraiyoon mein sama kar apni ulfat ki tasveer chod jaoonga
teri ek muskurahat ko leke ..tere jahaan ko jannat bana jaaonga

Monday, February 25, 2008

main tujhse kya kahoon..

main tere se dil ka haal bayaan karooon to kaise karoon..
khoya hua hai wo gardishoon mein uska deedar karvaoon to kaise karvaoon..
mere armaan ki tadap ka ehsaas dilaoon to kaise dilaaon..
tujhse har baat samajhne ki umeed rakhta hoon to kaise samjhaoon..
main khud hi bikhar raha hoon tujhse gila bhi karoon to kya karoon..
neend bhi zalim ho gayi hai,ek pal chain paane ka khwaab bhi dekhoon to kaise dekhoon..
meri aankhoon ka sukh gaya hai udaas pani usmein dubana chahoon to kaise duboon..

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Laya hoon..ek nagma...tere liye

laya hoon ankahi...ajnabi si pyaar ki ek pankhadi....
khwaboon mein rehguzar hogi jo,aisi hi..ek pankhadi
pheroonga usko main tere tan pe,O pari
halki si chuan se ,badan ki tilmilan se aayegi ek hasi
gulab ki panhadiyon jaise tere laboon pe
laya hoon aise pal...simta ke teri aahoon mein
jo khule to failey charoon aur mastiyaan..
sunahre kalpanaon ko bhi wo sharmajayegi
tere mahekoon se saje...honge pal,jaise baghoon mein kali..
tei aankhoon ki nammiii..hogi na unme kahi..
laya hoon aise hi ek anmol si kadi
mere dil mein basi teri ulfat ki hai wohi dastaan..
dard aur shikan nahin,hai jannatoon se bhari
muskurahatoon se rangi tassavuroon ki gali..
laya hoon tere dar pe aisi hi ek sada..
mere dil ke armaan jo honge na ab fanaa.
tujhko hi le jaoonga main wahaan, honge jahaan..
aise hi kai saherien,shyaamein aur ek choti si dastaan
laaya hoon himmatein,mitane ab dooriyaan..
ab nahin hongi fir kabhi koi addchanein apne darmiyaan..
jaan ke bhi ki hai tu ajnabi..,chahoonga
ye ulfat hai meri prerit tujhse hi..
bhulkar bhi kabhi na juda hoonga kabhi..
chahogi umr bhar humko bhi..hai yakeen
poorn karti hai meri tasveer ko jo wo rang ho tumhi...
rang auroon ka bhi hai magar,tere bagair adhuri hai tasveer meri..

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Khwahish

Khuda main unke armanoon ko apne dil ke aashiyaane mein sajaa leta..
unke har ek khwaab ko haqueeqaat bhi bana deta..
unke har lamhe ko haseen nazaaroon se rang deta..
ulfat ki shama ko sada roshan karne waali ek daastaan racha deta..
agar khuda tu...sirf ek baar meri dhadkanoon ko naseeb ki bandish se rihaee baksh deta

Sunday, August 26, 2007

And the patriotism fever is back

It was a fine morning and i was running on time.I reach my office and realise that the day is 14th august.How i realise that ? I see them distributing our national flag and pin at the reception asking us to wear it on.Being the rebel i am, i don't wear it nor do i take it.
The above act of mine engenders a discussion between me and my colleague Tarun . In the discussion i raise issues pertaining to how people treat our independence day as another holiday and wear the tricolor just for the fun of it.Also the focus shifts to the fate of these flags my fellow colleagues had arrayed(most of them would find their way to the garbage dump).The conclusion given by me then being that i would rather not portray myself as a patriot rather than insult the symbol of my country's "dignity" and "integrity" .
The discussion was over and a sense of victory had settled with a lingering thought which raised another discussion as our day ended.The "4th of July" being the culprit behind it.The ambience in India on the 15th of august and the US on 4th of July were juxtaposed and a comparison made.The streets are filled with people bursting fire crackers, gathering in large crowds and making a rather ostentatious display of their nation and its pride in the US while back home we have NOTHING!!!!!
Nothing was being done by the masses and when i say masses i don't mean the administrative wing of corporate, govt. offices and educational institutions which quite dutifully perform the ceremony of the flag hoisting etc. etc.In fact it was a day when all the theaters ran house full all roads leading to hang out spots were jammed and people were having a nice holiday...!Now i don't intend to say that there should be a gloomy or very serious atmosphere around on the 15th Aug, in fact there should be joy and celebrations around,but some part of that joy in the masses heart should represent a feeling of pride in their country and its achievements which was missing,sadly.
I remember seeing an old woman with flesh on her body as much as a wrapper on a chocolate near a traffic signal,trying to make her buck for the day by selling our national flags on our independence day..It was a scene that could move any stone hearted guy. The man sitting in the Innova however did not spare her a 5 rs for the flag and went away..It was a day of national pride and some helpless person was trying to make a living by selling the national flag to people on a day where she expected people to buy them in large numbers cause this day came only once a year and by far was supposed to be the most important day of the year.
Anyway the crux of the above example and preceding paragraphs is to set forth a picture of the sham Indians call as patriotism..To abuse the cricket team,to help the Gujarat earthquake victims,to help the tsunami victims etc..is not an example of patriotism..maybe adrenalin rush and a bit of humanity.I have always viewed the achievements of my country to be basically achievements of a single individual who at every step in their life were only discouraged by the people and institutions around them.People here are so lost in doing their work that the impact of their actions on their country is never a thought that crosses their mind.
We show pride in our heritage,a heritage which if you keenly observe always lacked patriotism but had a rich culture.We have always had a majority of leaders who were power hungry people waiting for their turn.More than that we have always been people who always think we are great but never live up to it.We are a diverse nation, an amalgamation so volatile that it could erupt at the slightest prick. We are Indians...but do we understand what it means to be an Indian...? I wonder...

Ps: while i write about patriotism above ..i do so cause i fail to understand what it means ..maybe cause i have never felt it that strongly or never felt it at all..but i have always viewed my country with a sense of respect dignity and most importantly pride ...pride which I will never cast away..

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Corruption and "ME" the future "Indian"

"Be careful ". "Ok mom, I will be" and i raced off on my bike to meet a couple of friends on necklace road in Hyderabad. In my hurry, or rather carelessness I had forgotten to put on my helmet and as fate would have it, I was apprehended by the traffic police guys and pulled over to the side of the road. The scene described in these few lines is not uncommon, infact i feel most of the riders reading this article would have been in the above situation, and i am very confident that most of them would have done what I did. Guesses??? Yes! you are right. "Kya sahib, chod do na sahib chaalan bahut zyaada hai sahib"."To? Galti to aapka hai na, aap helmet nahin daale, ab aap hi bolo hum kya karein?".After that i don a very innocent look on my face and hint towards a possibility of an "outside settlement"."Theek hai side mein aao aap", I take out a fifty and he says-"ye to kam hai,aapke paas Dl bhi nahin hai challan total 500 hota aapka..",and i make it 100 and he pockets it and lets me go free, and i dont even realise that i have just become a part of this cancer called "corruption at a very grass root level. "I", "Me", "The future Indian".
I had the opportunity of being involved in clubs at my university and many other groups of teenagers and elders alike in the past few years and one of the hottest topic of discusssion was always corruption, be it in politics or law enforcement or public services.I distinctly remember how all of my compatriots,including yours truly would lash out at the corrupt government, the corrupt officials and the list could go on,the point being that we would point out and depricate those we held guilty of it.These issues generally also led to a discussion of our development ,growth,blah blah blah..with each of them resulting in a conclusion that we were the future of this country and we are not only aware of the cancer but also have the hatred and strength in us to stay away and free from it.I guess even i had a very high self esteem and had many a times made derogatory comments against the "corrupt".
Now hypocrisy has always been one of the most sordid attributes of a man according to me and yet today when i look back I see how I myself was a follower of it,and here I use "I" to refer to myself only,but if there is a reader whose gone through similar discussions and a similar situatuion then it applies to them too. The point is that while i was in that situation I paid no heed to my anti corruption policies and was more concerned with saving some cash and infact honestly I never realised what i was doing.In fact, the sad part is how i would boast about having done it to my friends and yet again call the same guy i bribed a "Chor",while condoning the fact that I myself had become a bigger one, as i was the source of the incentive to that chor.
The whole issue burns down to the point where everyone wants to save his own skin and wants to be out of trouble the cheaper way,and well the oficials too are like us,they want easy money and hell they know I am not a maniac,I wont kill someone tomorrow,so no harm in them letting me go.While I have majorly concentrated on law enforcement guys here,people will always raise questions regarding other fields like government offices etc..etc..Now I can discuss them too all day long but it would be of no use! would it??
The realisation I had today was that I need to worry more about me being honest and following the law than worried about who is not and what names he should be called by.We are a young country they say, and i most certainly believe we are a very capable one at that.So guys if there is anyone out there like me,who has been a hypocrite,please realise what we are doing here and how "We the people" we the "Bundle of sticks" are making hollow our own future.I have realised by paying a challan that I will never again not wear a helmet,or forget mi DL at home.but more importantly I have learnt that if I am not corrupt on ten occasions,I stop 10 other people from being corrupt.We will be every where,guys like me,who are not very strong willed ,I request you all to just try...and hopefully succeed...
PS: the following lines are something i came up with while I was on a holiday this month..
"The only thing that brings down a rising tide in an ocean is a receding wave"

Sunday, July 15, 2007

after a long time..a brand new composition...

I write today a story of two songs..
one ringing life in , other death's gongs
the former, has many forms and is alive
it has happiness, surprise, routine and strife.
it flows in our moments memories and veins..
it gives us a kaleidoscope of pains and gains.
it engenders avarice and redeems our desires..
it has many vendors and a lot many buyers..
the song flows eternally,leaving us behind,
and a sting of our memories in beloveds minds..
It takes us for a joy ride and then leaves us with time,
with the song of death, known as the devil's rhyme..
the song of death ,feared by all,awaits its turn,
till we go on our holiday with life and return....
it waits silently till our tryst with life end's,
it lurks around the corner, everytime life bends..
we fear it in all our moments, be they of humiliation or pride,
while it stays eager as if waiting on the aisle for its bride..
I think of the song and what it would be like,
why it is feared by men and animals alike?
I think of what life gives us,and how it leaves us,
I think of the betrayal, and how it beguiles us
I question it's motives and it's charachter,
watching it play with us gives way to loads of laughter
I come back again to the song no one has ever heard and survived,
the song of death,the one to take us after life, still undescribed..
I then see the solace in those last moments of peoples lives,
when they are aware of life's betrayal in other peoples eyes.
I wonder whether the solace is from the song of death or the song of life?
I wonder is it worth living or worth getting lost in paradise ?
I sit and write of two songs, one of which i will never describe...
one shall ditch me and the other shall take me for a surprise ride.

Friday, July 06, 2007

The traditional woman and the "today's" woman

SEX EQUALITY..now please don't mistake me for a male chauvinist. What i have presented below are merely a set of views which can be termed as gratuitous but still i would like to name them the result of my deliberations.
I take my culture ,traditions and religion into picture and try hard but yet fail to condone the way in which women are praised and given a status far greater than that of man. She has been bestowed with appellations that would leave a flatterer gasping for breath, I mean if there was a word to describe " exaggeration beyond limits" then it would suffice, but i guess the phenomenon is ineffable. The apotheosis of woman in every role she plays simply leaves me wondering about the inscrutability of these appellations as i see no justification behind them when "today's woman" is juxtaposed with them(no offence meant).
I am sure ,for many of the readers, the above article would have been infuriating and a chauvinist image of me, would have been instilled in their minds by now, but please be patient and let me clarify my outrageous comments.
I guess i have a worm in my gut which keeps making me ponder over and question every adage, if I may call it that.I look back at what "woman" has gone through in our society over the last milleniums and what many of them are going through even today and i look at the "new avtaar" or "today's woman", who is independent,ambitious and maybe has compramised on certain values her predecessors did not even think of neglecting.
The manner in which women have been treated in our society can be described by only one kind of expression,disgust !For centuries now,she has been harrassed, tortured, disrespected, made irrelevant in discussing family issues,considered as bad fate when she is born and yet inspite of all that, all she has given in return is LIFE and LOVE in the very roles i mentioned above thus accquiring the status of a GODDESS, which by the way according to me is a mere pat on the back considering the magnitude of agony they go thru(after all you just call them that, you dont treat them like one..do you? hypocricy at its height).
For the reader who is going through my article solemnly, the above paragraph will seem like a U-turn.Well it isnt and i will tell you why.While all the above stated things are true,it is also true that for these milleniums it has been a woman who has illtreated a woman the most,or plotted or conspired against her(Indian society's saas-bahu pair ! for the brazillian pals..well mother in law and daughter in law ).While often man's attrocities are highlighted and trumpets blown, these go unnoticed.What's funny is that the oppressed becomes the oppressor!Does she then deserve the godhood? I wonder!
That scenario however is now changing in the modern India, thanks to the "today's woman".And who is this today's woman?She is the one who says she is equal with man..ans asks for reservation!,She is the one who is as competitive,probably more and as capable as successful as man in every feild of life we can imagine to have.She is also the one who is not as compassionate, as tolerant, as forgiving as her ancestors..she is not and the readers(Indians) i believe will agree with that..again its not an absolute that i state but yes, it is true for a majority of them found in our metropolitan cities and other developed cities..The point again being that,she no longer has the basic attributes that led to her apotheosis in the first place..!
Often I have heard and theres also a comment that was posted before the completion of this article by a very dear friend,about trying the experience of delivering a baby.Well,i personally feel, and no offence meant, that is a very lame excuse to give.I mean women are blessed with this gift of not just sowing but also nurturing and producing life and protecting it at the expense of their body ,till it is fit to face the world, and you use such a divine thing and call it a pain and ask others to try it as if it were a burden on you..?If you do..then i have no words..cause i always considered that to be the most enchanting thing about life..how women could raise it in their womb.
The articles throws light on a few aspects but has not been clear about what its trying to convey..I know,but thats because its not supposed to convey anything till now,Its just meant to make you ponder over certain things you may not have thpought of.while the next tells you the message behind the article..
Many times when i see my mom in the kitchen working hard to make a good dinner after a full day of work every day of the week,while we sit and enjoy,I often wonder what she's thinking..and i know its about some issue or some concern she has for the house or its members but she certainly is not complaining.She is God for m,and every such woman is a God.I despise the very sight of a man who would disrespect a woman and totally support the fact that women can outdo men in every feild if they want to..but i would like "today's woman " to remember ..while they are on their quest to glory and equality and other stuff, they should not leave behind those few qualities a man would have to die over hundred times for to acheive, in the dump.For if the baby is thrown out of the tub along with the water then,well you are no different and as common as me..the way alana put it ..macho man..

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

his bride

a day dawned and went by,

giving way to a lonely night

the stars were up , a crystal clear sky,

with a full moon looking milky white

dew on the grass filled two eyes

depleted with hope, towards the sky

the drops did fall as the ground bore sweat,

with the burden of his grief, the fate he had met

the wind grew moist from the tears in his eyes..

tears in memory of his love, heart and life.

agony caused by the loss of his wife..

She would make his problems disappear in a snap,

find a way out for him, through every cul-de-sac.

She would rejuvenate him,often make him a child,

pamper him, with her love make him go wild..

She gave him a thousand reasons to smile,

with her no agony lasted for more than a while..

Now she was gone,flashes of the past crowded his mind,

how she had been selfless and always very kind..

how he had often not noticed her cry,

instead of having wiped them,he let them dry..

Love her, he did, but also his own pride,

he had forgotten to LOVE back his own bride..

The pain of loss, had long left him,

the affliction of repentance now plagued him..

He had lost his chance, and also his pride,

for he had not truly treated her like his bride..










Monday, June 25, 2007

Spirituality....???? can things get better ?????

Spirituality is undoubtedly the shibboleth of all religions.They are like trees,when i say trees, i mean trees of the same kind,which have the same attributes but grow out to be very different from each other in terms of the fruits they bear or look they don.However,I am not here to discuss universal brotherhood or concept of one religion.What interests me more is one of the philosophies of the hindu religion, the KARMIC philosophy,which goes hand in hand with the concept of spirituality.I may not have understood these two terms well enough as they are indeed very profound as well as ambiguous for the layman a.k.a me.
The whole idea behind the karmic philosophy is misinterpreted by many to be analogous to "as you sow,so shall you reap".Well,it is not so!. The whole concept of karma lies behind the principle of doing every work as a duty without having any concern for its fruit or result.That simply implies that you have to perform all tasks in your life as a duty not as a means or source of some happiness or pleasure for us.Ironic!! this theory seems to contradict all the age old maxims which ask us to work hard for acheiving success.The paradox is crystal clear isnt it? If I were to follow karmic philosophy then i have to work, perform every task as a duty without any expectations, I would acheive what they call salvation.Now the question that arises in my mind is that if i were to work without having any expectations,to attain salvation wouldnt i be basically performing every task as a duty without caring for their fruit to attain the ultimate fruit of salvation,or put more bluntly,desire of salvation???
The whole idea behind saying that one should be hardworking to acheive success,he should be sincere etc..is to motivate us to work towards acheiving a goal,which will be the fruit of our labour.But if i call that attatchment to the materialistic world or succcinctly put, a desire,what do i call attatchment towards the goal acheiving salvation..?Anyways the ambivalence started driving me crazy and so i digressed conveniently to an easier task of questioning the very concepts of salvation and spirituality..
I often come across people talkin off judgement day,karma and how our soul would be punished on the day of doom or how we would face difficulties based on our actions in the next birth (as you go deeper into the karmic philosophy,you learn that the results of your actions are carried on by your subconscious mind or soul in the next birth and you pay for them in that life).i dont mean to question the rationale or the ability of the people and saints who came up with these concepts,but, while i can slightly comprehend the phenomenon called God,I fail to understand my soul.I mean,why should care for my soul's suffering?I have never felt it.I have felt myself suffer,thats all that i have felt and that is what I consider the truth.Whats the point in doing things for a phenomenon we cannot even feel,let alone see or associate with!
Suffering is bound to be there,so is happiness that is life ,law of nature,nature's not always just ! for example animals and trees pay the price for man's deeds..funny,they pay a price greater than man!!
I would rather work to be happy,judge a deed as good or bad on a principle of what makes me happy,me,this physical materialistic body which i feel and not for some phenomenon my mind makes or someone elses.
while i dont intend to give this article a patronising tone,maybe it has that.I apologise in advance for that..and for the few who rad this post i would like aan elaborate opinion for i am expecting a battery of ,well,contradictions..
i

Saturday, June 23, 2007

RETROSPECTION

My heart's going heavy,
life's becoming a burden....
I know that,which haunts me,
why my spirits are broken...
I shiver in shame,
under the cold feeling of repentance..
i bear the fruits of contrite,
makin a mole of a death sentence....
I stand yet accused,
arraigned and facing interogation...
Judged by a harsh jury,
composed of an elve's delegation...
A guilt ,a truth, an apparition,
not seen i n my eyes,lies in my hearts oblivion...
I had run long from it,
hoping to leave it behind....
No mattter how hard i tried ,
it always dwelled in my mind...
Oh! what's come of this life,
nothin but a bundle of lies..
Lies spoken to the world,
lies to bilk those eyes...
The lies that shall haunt me,
burn my soul till it's demise..
blessed with the bane of cowardice,
i look at myself and the mirror too..
Life seems to be missing,
my conscience and its spirit too..

Friday, June 22, 2007

love

During those moments when life's going down.
our eyes are raised and we look around..
to spend a day with the fairy of our passions and dreams..
a day when we don see n think but live those dreams
and that is why we look for love in shadows of life
when all there is, is a tear in our eye..
but the secret of love is something else,elsewhere it lies
it doesnt matter what and how much you get,less or more have no regrets..
for in the end loves only a debt
a debt we got to pay and pay..
with a never ending interest coming our way..
For in it there is no end to how much you can give
and that is why love they say is needed to survive
else our life would just go on..
like a routine an everyday norm
awaken this love,this feeling so true..
spread it in your heart and someone elses too...
time shall show and make you understand ..
loves not simple,not a one night stand
a feeling of giving ,giving all you can
for if you ever say no compromise..
in love my friend you shall pay a dear price.
of having lost your love for upholding your pride..
you shall be lost again with nowhhere to go..
and will go down as a life deplete with hope..